An observation about boys

I used to be one of those people who believed if boys were not given toy guns to play with then they would not play guns. I now know differently now that I have experienced having a son. This did not prepare me for other elements of raising boys, though.

Forgive me a bit of naivete here. Please, understand that I have always had male friends, but I wasn't really around boys until I had one of my own. It pretty much goes without saying that males tend to have a one track mind. Perhaps you will think I am being sexist here, but there have been studies done that supposedly show that men think of sex an average of at least once a minute or once every thirty seconds or whatever. There's no naivete on my part yet. I know this exists...yadda yadda yadda. What I did not realize is that the character trait of only being able to focus on one thing until that one thing is carried out or fulfilled or whatever...I always assumed that started during puberty. I was unaware that it could also be applied to 4 year olds with video games!

I've seen my husband become incapable of conversation when playing computer games or those long strategy games like Acquire or Risk. He's told me he would stop playing a game in an hour and then finally stop about 3 hours later, completely unaware of how much time had elapsed. I actually think he only stopped because of hunger pangs or a bathroom break. I didn't know that young boys are capable of the same level of devotion to games and whatnot.

This is just strange to me. I've heard all of the research about ADHD and how boys are at least 3 times more likely to be diagnosed with it compared to girls. I've heard other mothers and teachers say that ADHD is over diagnosed and that people are just "diagnosing" something that is typical boy behavior....so, I was fully prepared for a boy who would stay with activities for shorter periods of time and lose focus easily. Instead, I have one who focuses too much on one activity. His every waking moment is dedicated to when he will get to play Lego Star Wars on the playstation. How is this typical boy behavior and also ADHD typical behavior? The two things are at odds with each other, unless....ADHD gets the blame in the school setting because the child does not focus on school subjects and is instead interested in other things that capture his attention.

The obsession with playstation is somewhat annoying at times, but it has also proved useful. We now have Nathan doing 4 activities each day in order to earn his Playstation time. He also asks if he has been good enough to earn the right to play his game. This would be super cute, except the other day, he woke up and then asked, "Mommy, was I good overnight? And can I play Lego Star Wars now?" Ok, it was still cute, but after hearing 20 such requests in one day, it gets old. I have heard this may also be a 4 year old thing.