Nicole Hancock's blog

Questions for 102 class

2009-11-10T10:54:00.001-06:00

What are you trying to prove to your audience?
Who is your audience?
What topics will you write about and in which order?
How formal/informal do you intend to be? 1st person?
Which sources will you use for which portions of your paper? (Go into the blog and start labeling them as such!)
What will you do to remain on target time-wise? Look at the syllabus and plan out specific deadlines for yourself.

Working Bibliography

2009-10-01T08:13:00.001-05:00

Jaschik, Scott. "Community Colleges and Graduation Rates." Inside Higher Ed. 22 Mar. 2007. Web. 1 Oct. 2009. Good overview of info from a study.

"A new study on community college graduation rates has a somewhat unusual conclusion: Federal measures of the graduation rates are as bad as critics claim, but when those measures are corrected, colleges' results compared to other institutions don't change very much."

http://ccrc.tc.columbia.edu/Publication.asp?UID=498 This is the study cited in the above source. I need to check out this CCRC site more fully. Lots of stuff there and it is highly authoritative.

Oh Happy Day because of happy students

2009-09-17T11:05:00.002-05:00

I've gotten some interesting positive feedback from students this week. Yesterday, I asked my 096 students to give me anonymous feedback about how the class is going and if there is anything they'd change. I'll spare the details, but what I learned from them is they are genuinely happy to be in my class. They like what we're doing, they like that their learning and they like how I treat them. Wow. How refreshing!

Then today, one of my 102 students wrote on Facebook that she always likes her English teachers even though she does not like English as a class.

All of this positive feedback has made me realize that, you know what?, I like my students this semester. They are really personable. And it's not just one class. The 9 a.m. class has so many students in it who are clearly trying so hard to do well. They ask great questions. They interact well with one another. (And the class meets in the room we used for the learning community, so it brings back good memories) My 11 a.m. class is just so real. The students in that class have distinct identities. And the the 12 o'clock class is so openly friendly. Some of the students in that class are just sweet. Others are sociable and, I don't know, just more awake than I'm used to. They make me kind of hyper and then they laugh with me (at least I think it's with me; it may very well be at me, but, again, they are paying attention!).

And then today the 102 class gave me great hope for interesting research papers this semester. Some of the students have really embraced the opportunity to work with one another and the give and take of ideas. I'm hoping they rub off on some of the other students (yup, I'm looking at you, Fantasy Sports guy).

The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins

2009-01-27T11:07:00.003-06:00

I read this book in early December. I should probably say that I reread this book.

I love this book! It is considered to be the first English detective novel. The brilliance of the book is that it is written in several first person narratives. There is a mystery surrounding the disappearance of a huge yellow diamond (the Moonstone of the title). The diamond is an important cultural artifact in India and it was taken by an Englishman during a conflict. The diamond is said to bring misfortune to anyone who keeps it away from its important spot in a statue. The man who took it ends up bequeathing it to his niece in order to get back at his sister. Anyhow, that's just the opening chapter or two.

What keeps me returning to this book is the way that it was written. Usually mysteries are not very interesting once you've discovered "whodunit." This one is still because of the realistic character development. Even supposedly minor characters are fully drawn in the narrative. Many characters get the opportunity to speak for themselves in their own portions of the book. Gabriel (I'm probably misspelling this) is the old butler who gets to write a significant portion of the text. He's probably my favorite. There's also a hilarious section of the book written by a religious zealot. She ends up leaving religious pamphlets in bizarre places in order to help save the souls of those around her. That doesn't help advance the plot in any way, but it is an example of how Wilkie Collins sprinkles real life into the book so effectively that it's like the reader is watching a real life story advance rather than reading a mystery novel.

One thing I noticed on rereading the book is that the character names give the reader the very first impression of how they should be received. For example, Gabriel Betteredge is a favorable character. He is supposed to have a "better edge" on what's happening than others. In reality, he is very observant in that he notices tons of details and picks up on characters' reactions to things. The comical part is that though he notices the details and reports them to the reader, he often misinterprets them. He is a trusty narrator in that we the reader trust him to be a good person. In all actuality, though, his in an untrusty narrator because we can't 100% believe his view of what happened. That sort of complication is what makes the book so wonderful and enjoyable even on a third reading.

Why the posting silence?

2009-01-27T11:03:00.002-06:00

Ok, this blog has been woefully neglected. I've been meaning to get back into the blogging for some time now. Last semester was just horribly draining on me. When I started the semester in August, I was 5 months pregnant, and of course, I only got more pregnant as the semester went on. Add to that, I was teaching 3 sections of English 102 and 2 sections of 101. That grading load was intense and I was just tired!

But now I hope to get back to blogging. My plan is to at least blog about books I am reading for fun. Maybe I'll also blog about my 096 class since this is the first time I am teaching it.

Working Bibliography (example for 102)

2008-10-09T14:05:00.002-05:00

Book search: Silnet: marathon running

Target 26 : a practical, step-by-step, preparatory guide to running the marathon /by Brown, Skip, 1949-
Collier Books, c1979. checked this book out on 10/9

The marathon, what it takes to go the distance /by Bloom, Marc, 1939-
Holt, Rinehart and Winston, c1981. at SWIC but checked out; check back later

Book search: IShare: marathon running

uthor: Switzer, Kathrine. Title: Marathon woman : running the race to revolutionize women’s sports / Kathrine Switzer. Edition: 1st Carroll & Graf ed. Published: New York : Carroll & Graf ; [Berkeley, Calif.] : Distributed by Publishers Group West, 2007. Physical Description: vii, 418 p. : ill. ; 24 cm. Subject (LCSH): Switzer, Kathrine. Women runners --Biography. Marathon running. Notes: "A memoir"--Jacket. Includes index. needs to be ILLed

ebsco search: academic search premier and health source: marathon running: cover story

1.
No Finish Line.Preview (cover story) By: Wolff, Alexander. Sports Illustrated, 11/5/2007, Vol. 107 Issue 18, p50-58, 7p; (AN 27396790)
HTML Full Text
2.
YOU? WALK A MARATHON?Preview (cover story) Prevention, Apr2007, Vol. 59 Issue 4, p156-157, 2p, 1 chart, 1 color; (AN 24367201)
HTML Full Text

Library Assignment for ENG 102

2008-10-07T12:07:00.002-05:00

I have copied an assignment below. Please copy and paste it over to your blog and complete it by answering the questions. I have placed capital X's in areas to indicate where you should place answers. Follow all of the steps in order.

1. Articles and More
Under Find Articles & More, click on Magazine, Journal and Newspaper Databases.
Enter EBSCOhost. Select at least 3 databases.
Which 3 (or more) did you choose and why? XXXXX
Perform a search for your topic. What search word did you use? XXX
How many results did you find? XXX
Click on Advanced Search. Click the “cover story” box and redo the search. How many results did you find this time? XXX

Identify one source you are interested in using from the search performed in EBSCO. *Hint: Click on the title to get to the full abstract for more information.
List the: Title, Author(s), Source Title, Date, Volume and issue #, Page #s,
Subject Terms, Database within ESBCO where the source is located
XXXX

Perform another search for your topic. This time combine your original search term with one of the relevant or interesting search terms found in the source identified above.
How many results did you find this time? XXX
Add any sources you would like to look into further to your folder. Once you have identified all of the good sources, save the contents of the folder to a disk/flashdrive or e-mail the results to yourself, so you may skim through them at a later date.

Return to the Articles and More page on the library’s main page. Instead of EBSCO, choose another database from the list. The one that will be best for you will depend on your particular topic. You may want to ask the librarian for more information about the available resources or click on the “available databases” link.
Identify one source you are interested in using from the search performed in the second database.
List the: Title, Author(s), Source Title, Date, Volume and issue #, Page #s,
Subject Terms, Database within ESBCO where the source is located

2. Books, Videos, DVDs, CDs
Under Books, Videos, DVDs, CDs, click on SWIC Library Catalog. Go to the SILNET Library Catalog link. Do a Title Keyword search.
What search word did you use? XXX
Describe the results. XXX

Do a Subject Keyword search.
What search word did you use? XXX
Describe the results. XXX

Under Books, Videos, DVDs, CDs, click on Search Other Libraries. Choose one of the 3 options and perform a search.
What were the results of this search? XXX
Do you intend to use a book source? If so, which one? If not, why not? XXX

3. Other reference tools
Under Find Articles & More, click on Reference Tools.
Which (if any) of these resources will be useful for your paper topic? XXX
Under Get Research Help, click on Search Tips.
Click on the “check out this page” link. Identify one useful piece of information you learned from this page: XXX
Under Get Research Help, click on Useful Sites. Identify at least one useful site you learned about: XXX. How will this site be of use to you for this paper or your personal life? XXX

My Own Post about Music

2008-09-05T11:38:00.003-05:00

I've just asked my 101 class to post about how they make sense of music, so I am going to do something similar.

I've recently started to notice how the music that I really listen to-- the kind that I choose when it's just me in the car-- was mostly influenced by what I liked and disliked about my parents' music when I was younger and then compounded by the things I started to like in junior high. I think we all have a certain affinity for the stuff that we really liked when we were just starting to be teenagers because that was the time when we could start exploring our own tastes, so we like it with more passion that it possibly deserves. That's got to be why I will still stop to listen to "Bust a Move" or "Ice Ice Baby" whenever I hear it. There's little possible other explanation.

But back to the observation about my parents' music. They made us listen to country. I vividly remember seeing Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers sing "Islands in the Stream" at a county fair we went to. I do not like country very much today. There's still some stuff that I will listen to that is country, but not anything like what I felt was forced on me back then. (I have, however, found myself unintentionally listening to and singing along with a John Denver song) The stuff that I still like that my parents listened to was their more personal tastes. My dad is a big fan of long, sweeping songs with lots of harmonies and instrumental parts. Think Santana, Chicago, The Eagles, Crosby Stills Nash and Young. My dad loves any song he can sing along to. In fact, he doesn't even care if he knows the words or not; he just wants to sing. And to have enough harmony options to switch to a different tone of voice when he tires of singing in one way for too long. My mom chooses music she can dance to. Now, my mom doesn't really dance-- she does what we call "the Mom dance." She holds her hands in fists like a boxer and twists and pumps her arms to the beat of the music. She never sings along. She prefers 80's music, country music, obscure music...really eclectic taste (Emmylou Harris and Bob Segar to Beck's "Loser" to 80's hair bands like Poison).

So anyway...this post was to say that I can tell that much of what I like is a direct result of what my parents really enjoy. And it's the stuff that they enjoy on a visceral level, the songs that make them move or sing or turn up the volume. I don't care as much for the music that they react more mildly to. Then the other major influence is the music that was important and meaningful to me at different points in my life. My junior high music and my college music will always be important to me. In fact, The Beatles and Dave Matthews Band were the two bands I listened to the most in college, and they are the most represented bands in my iTunes.

Book Review: Misunderstanding the Assignment

2008-05-29T22:44:00.003-05:00

Hunt, Doug. Misunderstanding the Assignment: Teenage Students, College Writing, and the Pains of Growth. Portsmouth, NH: Boynton/Cook, 2002.

This is a 160 page ethnography about a first year writing course at a Missouri university. A team of researchers followed a class of 19 students throughout their writing class one semester. They videotaped all class meetings and did many interviews with the students and the teacher. The book excerpts portions of those class meetings and interviews in order to study 6 students and the class more intensely.

Two main observations about the observations made in this book: 1) Commitment to the class is not entirely dependant on either the teacher or the student; background issues and current struggles mix with whatever level of motivation is present or lacking to determine the student's readiness for the material, and 2) writing assignments that are meant to teach critical thinking are intentionally ambiguous and open-ended, but this creates definite problems for the students who are not yet ready for them.

Ok, first observation. The study followed 6 students who all came from different backgrounds. One student who really struggled with the semester seemed to be having a major identity crisis, perhaps even learning that she was bi-polar. A couple of students needed to get good grades in the class or risk leaving school because of financial difficulty. Some of these students used that fact to motivate them to do whatever it would take to pass, while others used it as an excuse to opt out of the semester, as in "it doesn't matter because whatever I do won't be good enough and I won't be back next semester." Some students were very mature, working difficult jobs to get through school and dealing with the time management issues that arise from that, while others were at school to avoid starting their adult lives. This is all over-simplifying these students into these neat little dichotomies, but what I'm trying to say here is that the students all had multiple mitigating factors in their success or failure. There is no typical 18 year old freshman student. They all come with differing amounts of baggage and even the baggage itself does not determine success or failure because for some it will make them work harder while others will sink under the same pressure.

I know that the same tenet applies to the students I have in class each and every semester. The ones who really worry me I'll recommend to Project Success so someone can get them help if they want it. But what became obvious from reading this is that I have had students who have hidden their worries successfully. I don't know if this is a blessing or a curse. I do know that it can ultimately affect the writing assignments and their quality. What I sometimes take as a lack of experience with a topic could be a reluctance to deal with the topic in a way that is uncomfortable to the student. What looks like naivety or laziness could be a personal reluctance. Of course, it could also be naivety or laziness. Who's to say? The book doesn't construct any kind of answer for this question that lies beneath the surface. I don't necessarily think that looking for these personal motives will help me to help the student any better; I'm no psychoanalyist or therapist after all. But I don't think the student completely ignoring them is any better. And what makes the whole thing worse is to really avoid this complication, I would have to come up with the safest, lamest topics ever made, and I am unwilling to do so.

Alrighty, on to observation #2. This is one that I've known for years now and have seen every single semester in my teaching. There is a fine, squiggly line between a writing assignment that is challenging enough to yield great thinking from the student while also being clearly defined enough for the student to believe he has a reasonable shot at succeeding at "what the teacher wants." Of course, what the teacher really wants is a paper that relates to the assigned topic, is clearly defined and strongly supported and shows real evidence of life behind the mind of the student who wrote it. This is what I want from each and every assignment, which means I also want for students to come up with their ideas on their own and do not want to force the assignment on them too much. Then we get into the problem of how every assignment is forced on the student by the very nature of its being an assignment. I cannot change that factor no matter what I do. Even if it was completely a free choice, the student could still ask, "But what kind of free choice paper do you want?" whether out loud or subconciously. I get into the problem of I want students to think for themselves and I want it to be about such and such and what we've discussed in class in some way and then I also want it to be strong writing. I realized by reading this book that I intentionally try to give off a vibe that I'll be pleased with whatever they choose to write about on the topic while also giving off a second vibe of having high standards and wanting the writing to look like something substantial. These two vibes are like one and the same to me, but they are two distinct vibes to the students, I think. Then, what often happens is the students pick one or the other vibe to go with, and honestly they can find success in either one or be doomed in either one, so it is all really very confusing. This now leads me full circle to my main point with this observation. I do have a picture of the assignment I would like while also having many hazy images of the assignment that I would also like if they were well done. All the while, I do not want to spell out too clearly what they could do because I do not want students to merely copy the ideal assignment, but I want them to discover it on their own. You see, if they did copy it, it would hardly be real learning. It would be mimickry. While some learning can occur through mimickry, it usually does not transfer over to other learning. The learning I want needs to come from within the student and be attached to their schema and made real to them to be accessed later in a different writing assignment in my class or one of their other classes. And that I why I refuse to spell things out super clearly. But where or where is that fine, squiggly line and how do I find it? How do I create assignments that are clear but complicated enough? And then when I do find a magic assignment, how to I create another one down the road that does the same thing without just repeating the same formula? The irony of all of this is that in asking these questions I am modelling what I want students to do with each writing assignment. It is not enough for them to merely spew out one essay without thinking, but they should question their motives for writing it that way and also think of the affect it will have on their audience, and then, even if that paper earns an A, they will still have to do similar but different thinking for the next writing assignment and not just repeat some formula that once worked.

And this is why each and every semester at some point, I throw my hands up in the air and say that I should not be a writing teacher anymore. I then swear that I am going to teach something more quantifiable until I hear the sound of the scantron machine.

Reflections about the Computers and Writing Conference

2008-05-27T14:48:00.002-05:00

I just attended my very first Computers and Writing Conference last week in Athens, GA. I liked the smaller, more intimate feel of this conference. Both the fact that it was held at University of Georgia and its timing of being held after the semester was over helped make it more casual than the big national conferences I've been to in the last couple of years.

A couple of thoughts about the conference in general. The first official day of the conference we went to a reception and I noticed there was very little diversity to the conference attendees. I think I saw one African American attendant the whole time I was there. Other than that, it was just white, white, Asian-American, white, white, Asian-American, white, white, white...you get the picture. I'm not going to interpret this observation but just leave it as it is.

The other main observation I had I will elaborate on. In one session, someone was reading a paper about Open Source and blatant Raymondism. Ok, yup, I have no clue who Raymond is or was. I gleaned some stuff from the paper, but only sideways. This was an actual paper presentation where a paper was read, word for word, for almost 20 minutes. Those are always harder to understand. Anywho, I'm straying from my point here. At the end of this paper presentation, what I was able to understand was that whether or not instructors/institutions choose to use Open Source instead of corporate packages is a moral decision that involves whether we want to follow a factory or cathedral or market model...there were more models, but I cannot remember them now. The author was really intent on comparing Open Source to all these models he had read about by authors I've never heard of. I was sitting back thinking, yeah, so, that's all well and good to think of this as a moral and philosophical question when we are a week or two finished with a school semester and a couple of months away from the next one. These are not the things I am likely to worry about when I am in week 8 of the semester and students are whining about this or that being too much to understand, and the server is on the fritz for unknown reasons and Student 12 wants to know why she was 2 points away from an A on this or that assignment that is worth .75% of her final grade. And then it dawned on me: author man presenting his paper about obscure things with such a strong passion and encripted lingo must be a grad student! Or someone who only teaches 3 classes a semester and is expected to research the rest of the time.

I usually don't go into a conference with a Community College chip on my shoulder or even realize I am any different from anyone else at a conference, but I really noticed many things this conference, all stemming from the fact that I work in a different environment than they do. It would be so much easier to be all high-minded about Open Sourcing and which technology is the right decision for educators and the like if I weren't dealing with such a technilogical divide in my students, some of whom do not have reliable internet connection at home, others who are returning after many decades and have minimal computer experience. I'm still much happier working at a community college than a research institution. I would much rather focus my time on what happens in the classroom and how to best meet goals and objectives of the courses than reading obscure things and analyzing them in order to get yet another blurb on my C.V. or another checkmark on a tenure checklist. (I'm sure somewhere there are good motives for these things, but I see them as lesser items than the goals and objectives of a course-- things that are directly related to student learning and progress)

Some things from the conference I will try to use next semester:
1. Problems with Google Docs are best solved by belonging to their list-serv or blog ring. I need to join up, but I will do so closer to the next semester's start. Also, I need to talk to someone in networking or help desk about the problem I've been experiencing in the classroom as it seems to be a SWIC only Google problem. I had thought it was a problem between Explorer and Firefox, but it appears it may have much more to do with the log-in procedure and/or clearing the cache.

2. Have 102 students take a survey about how they feel about themselves as researchers. Joyce Walker and James Purdy wrote an article about the survey they did and I can contact Joyce for their survey if need be. I think it would be interesting for SWIC students to compare their answers to those of students from 4 year schools and to start questioning why students feel this way about their own research skills.

3. Whether or not I use a pre-packaged CMS or a number of things pulled together, I need to explain to students why certain applications are the best for what we are doing, so they too buy into it.

4. Students are not as concerned about privacy as we are. This does not mean that they should not be, but they also kind of have a point. Alex Reid gave a great example. He said that if a bunch of teenagers are in the Food Court of the mall talking loudly about their personal lives, they do not think they are doing anything wrong, but they will look at you like you are crazy if they catch you listening to them. Then, you're the weirdo. The same thing happens in on-line communities. If you were not invited to the blog or the intended audience for the blog, then you are the strange one for wandering over and viewing it; you do not belong. This just says to me that the students do need some warning about privacy and their blogs and whatnot and do need to be encouraged to keep their personal lives seperate from their educational lives, but also that I don't need to freak out about students who are willing to share and blend their personal lives into their educational lives because those boundaries are blurred for them. Anyway...I feel like I'm talking myself in circles here. Oh, and mental note to check out Alex Reid's blog.

5. Consider writing syllabi that are more natural in their written structure and less top-down to the students. Right now, I do a very Freirean thing of allowing students to decide the policies on absence and the like. My preliminary syllabus should probably be more conversational than it is at the moment. The discussion of the policies could be taken to chat or discussion board instead of small groups.

6. E-portfolios look like the next great big thing in education. Don't know how I feel about this.

Reflections about the Field Trip to see Ella

2008-04-03T11:31:00.003-05:00

I am exhausted! I never knew that field trips were so much work. This field trip sounded simple enough. All students in the Learning Community go to see a play in St. Louis. In order for that to happen, I applied for a grant from The Foundation. That involved researching the costs and reserving the tickets, figuring out transportation costs, scurrying around for various signatures at the last minute.

I think last minute scurrying is pretty much the theme of the field trip to me.

Times I scurried during prep for the field trip:

-gathering signatures for the grant application

-locating proof that funding did not exist elsewhere

-finally sending payment to the Rep (which, I think, made it in time...just barely)

-getting the excused absence paperwork filled out 2 weeks after it was supposed to be filled out, but still in time to do it before the field trip itself

-getting the pizza to the students before leaving

-getting to the field trip location itself

I believe I left out a couple of scurryings; I certainly left out many additional harried moments.

In the end, though, the part of the play we saw was great, the students were very gracious, and I think I can honestly say that a good time was had and learning occured. I think I've come to the conclusion that I will probably do a field trip again (note all the qualifiers there), but there's no way I will do them on a regular basis.

The worst part of it all for me was the feeling that I was personally responsible if anything happened to the students while we were on this trip. Feeling responsible like that is exhausting. Driving a 12 passenger van is exhausting. Marathons around campus as I get paperwork taken care of-- also exhausting. I sense a new theme here.

Atonement by Ian McEwan

2008-03-05T14:24:00.003-06:00

On the flight to and from Boston, I read Atonement.

Preface to any student currently reading this post: I was reading this book in lieu of reading papers because I do not like flying. I needed something to thoroughly distract me from the fact that I was flying. That, and I was paranoid about losing the papers. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. That's why I was able to finish a whole book while traveling for 16 hours but could not grade a single paper.

Basic plot: One moment (or two, depending on if the typed letter is another moment) witnessed by a young girl drives the young girl to later make a false accusation that leads to hardship for many involved. It happens in 1935. The book fast forwards to WWII. And then it leaps to 1999. Told from multiple perspectives.

Fascinating. A great read. The author focused on the right details and left the unnecessary ones out. He provided enough context for the narrative to continue in a way that made everything seem inevitable. In fact, as I read, that one word kept popping up in my head: inevitability. I seemed to hear Agent Smith from The Matrix saying, "Do you hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability." Ok, so I may not have the quote exactly right, but at least I was not so geeky as to go look it up or rewatch the movie just to get the one quote right. So anyway, that got me to thinking about what created that feeling. Part of it was how the author would refer to how something would be important later, as in when it is said of Robbie, "later, he would regret that one decision." Or all of the references to Briony's writing and what she found to be of use to her later. The other was how all of the truly significant moments were told (and retold) in loving detail. And each telling focused on the details significant to the person doing the telling. All had a shred of familiarity-- the oddly real details, like the moisture evaporating from the damp spot near the fountain, anchor all of the narratives. Small things like that getting such big attention and emphasis in the text really make it seem significant. You get the whole sense that in this moment, time stood still, because after this moment, everything changed; therefore, the moment itself is of otherwordly importance.

The whole novel is really a study in how to write novels and write them well. One day, when I have tenure and my Ph.D. is finished and I have that almost mythological extra time in my life and career (will this ever happen????), I would love to teach a class on the novel. This book would have to be one of the last books read during a semester long study of the novel. It is that good for what it says about how to propel a narrative forward and what is authentic and what fails to ring true.

There were a couple of moments when I was reading where I though, "You know, that just doesn't seem right somehow" or "Why did the narrative skip like that just then?" Those parts become significant later. One of my friends who read the book before I did said I have to talk to her about it later because she really wants to know a couple of things or confirm a couple of things. After reading through to the end, I can guess what it is she wants to talk about. It's going to start a little something like, "Do you think such and such really happened this way or that way?" I know the way things happened and what the plot was vs. what it could have been because all of the clues were provided for the reader and I was drawn to notice the clues as I read along. And that mirrors and mimicks the false accusation perfectly! You can see exactly why Briony comes to the conclusion she does and how that leads to the false accusation, but then you are also given every possible clue as to who really did it and can see why some others think the way that they do. All the while, The Truth is there as second cousin to the "truth" that gets accepted as it is presented. It's like the real truth is there for us beneath the presentations of what we want to believe. And THAT is why I loved the book.

Have to admit though...I was blushing during the library scene. That is one part of the book where the author definitely did not leave anything to imagination.

Sidenote: I have not seen the movie, nor do I intend to. I read the book because the concept sounded really interesting but also sounded like something that would take a book to realize perfectly. I suspect I am correct in this. I have no clue how they'd adapt this book to film; however, I am grateful to the move trailers for a couple of things. First, Keira Knightley was perfectly cast as Cecilia. Having a mental picture of her in that role really helped. I also knew what the actress who plays Briony looks like and that helped as well. Third, the green dress that I've seen in ads for the movie was perfect. I would not have pictured it in the proper way without a visual reference already handy.

Book Club: Talk, Talk

2008-03-05T14:12:00.002-06:00

Talk, Talk by T. C. Boyle

I meant to post about this long, long ago when I was actually reading it, but I haven't had a spare moment to do so.

This book has a deaf woman, Dana Halter, as a protagonist. She has her identity stolen by another character, Peck/William. I guess we oughtta call him the antagonist. Then there are also the significant others. Bridger is Dana's boyfriend and Natasha is Peck's girlfriend.

The character development in Boyle's novel is excellent. All of the people in the book feel like real people I could have met before. The weird thing is I had a mental picture for most of the characters, but not for the main character. I imagine Bridger to look just like a picture of the author I've seen in the Intro to Fiction book, kind of lanky with spiky brown hair and bird-like eyes. Natasha looks like this one former super model. The only physical detail I have for Dana is that she has lots of auburn hair. There was this one girl at my college who had a super-full mane of red hair. It was just one big huge triangle of hair. Friends of mine actually referred to her as "The Hair." That's my only frame of reference for what Dana must look like. But I know lots of people who have personalities similar to her. I could definitely recognize the personality traits of all of the characters.

The deafness in the novel puts an interesting spin on things. My sister-in-law, Val, is taking a couple of classes on this right now. She's in a finger spelling class that does interesting activities to get the hearing students to think about deafness. I once had a deaf student in one of my 101 classes. It was the most ADHD class I have ever had (and that is saying something). The smalllish room was packed full with 25 students, me, and the two interpreters. Then you have distractable me talking to the students as a whole with one person signing next to me, and about half of the students incapable of keeping a thought in their head without it spewing forth from their mouths. It was chaos. I actually envied the one student who was able to shut the other students out just by turning away from them.

It's such a shame, though, that people look at those with hearing disabilities as somehow lacking in intelligence. The novel makes reference to this several times. Dana talks about "the look" that people give her when they hear how her speech is different and how some strangers choose to talk to the other people with her instead of recognizing that she is a real person who also has a real need to communicate.

There was a big emphasis on words that Dana accumulated in order to help her students prepare for standardized testing. Interesting that this habit stops after a while.

I'm not going to say much about the ending here, but I did find it appropriate. Unexpected, but approporiate.

Comments about Black, White and Jewish by Rebecca Walker

2008-02-05T11:51:00.000-06:00

Black, White and Jewish is one of the LC's Book Club books. I just finished reading it over the weekend.

The book is about Rebecca Walker's experience growing up, well, black, white and Jewish. She is Alice Walker's daughter (the author of The Color Purple). It was interesting to read Rebecca's observations about how she made sense of herself and how others reacted to her. Part of the conflict she had was that her parents divorced when she was around 8, I think. After the divorce, she had to split time between her mom's house and her dad's house. Before long, her dad married a white woman. Really, most of the book is about shifting between these different worlds: her mom's house where she pretty much took care of herself and rarely saw her mom and hung out with a more multicultural crowd (sometimes with all white people, sometimes with Chicanos, other times with black people, and occasionally with another mixed family). When she was in her dad's world, it was mostly all white and also Jewish, but Jewish to differing degrees.
I felt like the book was as much about negotiating these different selves she was expected to be from one household to the next as much as it was about the ethnicity. The rules changed, geography and school types changed, friends changed. Not much ever remained the same for her.

It was really sad to me b/c she grew up so quickly. I'd have to look at the book to say for sure, but her first sexual experience was when she was around 12 or 13. She also roamed the streets of San Francisco with a same-aged friend of hers in search of pot when she was around 12. Part of it makes me want to say to Alice Walker, "Yeah, you wrote some great fiction and rediscovered Zora Neale Hurston, but at what cost to your own daughter? Where were you for her?" It's pretty clear from the book that Alice Walker tried to get Rebecca Walker to be as independent as possible and had great hope for what she could accomplish. That hope was there in the beginning when Rebecca is this tangible product of a genuine love between a black woman and a white man. Rebecca's parents, as civil rights people, believed they were doing a wonderful thing and she was a symbol of the peace and harmony that was to come. But the pressures of the day became too much and their marriage eventually dissolved, leaving Rebecca to question what she was now.

The time and places Walker writes about brought to mind experiences I have had. I believe she is about 10-15 years older than I am, but some of the fashion and music was stuff that I remembered from very early youth. I too can recall wearing purple corduroy pants and jelly shoes. The music of her teen years was around in the background of my elementary years.

What it especially made me think of was my own interaction with issues of race when I was younger. Rebecca Walker was often the only or one of the only people of color in some of her schools. I had a similar but also opposite situation. For the first 5 years of school, I was bussed to a school in downtown San Diego because the school did not have enough white children in it. Each class picture I have from then will show you 15-20 black children of differing levels of color and then 3 or so white kids. I'm always the goofy looking blond girl. Though I did not do this to the same degree that Walker did, to some extent I too learned a different world when at school and then another when back on the military base when I went home. School friends double-dutched and "based" on one another (kind of short for debasing, similar to dissing). Home friends were obsessed with Star Wars and Thundercats (Thundercats, ho!) and, because we were on NAS Miramar, Top Gun as well. I'm not sure how many of us were aware that when we went home we had different worlds from one another. I can't recall it ever coming up or being a problem. I do remember one family from the school had been in the newspaper in an article discussing mixed families. It was still relatively rare when I was a kid 10-15 years after Walker's life story.

I do know that at some point I started to realize that I belonged to a priveleged minority when I was younger. Though there were relatively few white kids at the school, I wasn't picked on. If anything, I think the way we were singled out was for more attention by the teachers. I went to 5 years of that school in downtown San Diego. I can only remember 4 of the teachers. 3 of them were white. The remaining one may have been Asian-American, and I cannot remember the fifth teacher at all (did I not go to 1st grade?). The principle was African-American. Anyway, the whole point is that it is not too surprising to me today that I was called on and singled out for student-of-the-month awards and GATE testing when I was one of a couple of white kids and had white teachers. I am a little surprised that there were never any fights, but I think race matters less to younger kids than it does as they grow older and pick up on things that adults have said or done.

An observation about boys

2008-01-29T14:23:00.001-06:00

I used to be one of those people who believed if boys were not given toy guns to play with then they would not play guns. I now know differently now that I have experienced having a son. This did not prepare me for other elements of raising boys, though.

Forgive me a bit of naivete here. Please, understand that I have always had male friends, but I wasn't really around boys until I had one of my own. It pretty much goes without saying that males tend to have a one track mind. Perhaps you will think I am being sexist here, but there have been studies done that supposedly show that men think of sex an average of at least once a minute or once every thirty seconds or whatever. There's no naivete on my part yet. I know this exists...yadda yadda yadda. What I did not realize is that the character trait of only being able to focus on one thing until that one thing is carried out or fulfilled or whatever...I always assumed that started during puberty. I was unaware that it could also be applied to 4 year olds with video games!

I've seen my husband become incapable of conversation when playing computer games or those long strategy games like Acquire or Risk. He's told me he would stop playing a game in an hour and then finally stop about 3 hours later, completely unaware of how much time had elapsed. I actually think he only stopped because of hunger pangs or a bathroom break. I didn't know that young boys are capable of the same level of devotion to games and whatnot.

This is just strange to me. I've heard all of the research about ADHD and how boys are at least 3 times more likely to be diagnosed with it compared to girls. I've heard other mothers and teachers say that ADHD is over diagnosed and that people are just "diagnosing" something that is typical boy behavior....so, I was fully prepared for a boy who would stay with activities for shorter periods of time and lose focus easily. Instead, I have one who focuses too much on one activity. His every waking moment is dedicated to when he will get to play Lego Star Wars on the playstation. How is this typical boy behavior and also ADHD typical behavior? The two things are at odds with each other, unless....ADHD gets the blame in the school setting because the child does not focus on school subjects and is instead interested in other things that capture his attention.

The obsession with playstation is somewhat annoying at times, but it has also proved useful. We now have Nathan doing 4 activities each day in order to earn his Playstation time. He also asks if he has been good enough to earn the right to play his game. This would be super cute, except the other day, he woke up and then asked, "Mommy, was I good overnight? And can I play Lego Star Wars now?" Ok, it was still cute, but after hearing 20 such requests in one day, it gets old. I have heard this may also be a 4 year old thing.

My Short Attention Span

2008-01-25T14:01:00.000-06:00

Well, I got to thinking and talking about my habit of jam-packing every moment of a 50 minute class with some activity of some sort. I have come to the realization that I have a relatively short attention span (or more accurately attention tolerance span) and I like to have long spans of doing the exact same thing broken into smaller tasks or actvities or the ability to multi-task several things at once.

I do not know if this is because of my age, the fact that I am a mom of two young kids and am required to prioritize and multi-task or my reliance on technology that allows me to do these things. Anyway, I just know that it is so and I expect that my students feel the same way.

So that got me to wondering if my students ever feel like I am just rushing through things with no opportunity for reflection.

Today in the Learning Community class, I wrote down 5 activities would we try to get through in 50 minutes. I actually felt bad about these 5 things because they were something that I settled on the day of class instead of meticulously planning for in advance. One of the items was to allow students to share something from their journal assignment for the day. This is something that can seem like a throwaway 5-10 minutes that can be done or left out, but it really, really worked today. First, I think it shows students that their journal writing matters. Second, it made the discussion relevant to what mattered to them. Third, who wants me to regurgitate what they have read from the handbook (also assigned)? Anyway, we managed to cover that (the journal and handbook assignment--kind of) and then a handout about what things in writing that annoy me, a life list assignment and the writing assignment for their first paper. And though all of that was accomplished in just 50 minutes, it seemed to work out just fine...not too fast, not too lingering.

But perhaps I should check with the students to see how they felt about it...

That darned dreaded assessment thing. How to assess when students "get it" or feel as confident about the lessons as you did...??? If I ever answer that question, I will become a rich woman indeed.

Word of the week: perhaps. Why do I keep saying perhaps? Why do I keep making myself seem so much older than I really am?

Oh, the little things that make me happy

2008-01-23T17:43:00.000-06:00

Denise made my day today. At 11:15ish today, she informed me that there will be not one, but two episodes of Chuck on tomorrow night. Not only will there be episodes of Chuck, but they will be new episodes!

Now the great debate is do we watch both of them tomorrow or ration ourselves on Chuck? Do I spread my John Caseyisms out over a week or indulge in two hours of bizarre pop culture references and geeky behavior?

I may just have to dig out the tape from before the writer strike to locate the very last episode we watched and review it in preparation for the new Chuck episodes.

I'm beginning to think I belong on the Nerd Herd.

Ok, so quite seriously, I very may need to be on a Nerd Herd. I have had music on the brain lately because of the music themed 101 class. Yesterday, I was rereading the introduction to Leonard Bernstein's The Joy of Music while Nathan was (yet again) playing Lego Star Wars on the Playstation. So, here I am reading about music and how inexplicable it is when I happen to hear the familiar strains of Star Wars theme music. I had a complete flashback to two moments. If you are picturing this in real time in your brain, it wasn't a split-screen experience; it was more like two images overlapping in my mind. The one was of my childhood living room. My sister and I were laying on the floor on our stomachs, looking up at the t.v. while Dad was in the recliner-- all three of us watching Star Wars, me reading the text at the very beginning of the movie. Then, either fast-forward 20 years or play the image simultaneously...a movie theatre in Kankakee, IL. The rerelease of the Star Wars movie. When that familiar music played, I got goosebumps. I was a little ashamed...until I remembered that at least I didn't stand outside in the cold all night for tickets or come to the theatre in costume.

A friend of mine has had his students write papers about their own personal theme song. He refers to how we all have soundtracks to our lives. I believe this too. It's just sad how many of my songs on my soundtrack are also songs on real soundtracks. Are these songs taking me back to the movie moment or a real moment in my own life? For me, the Star Wars theme and "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" are both songs from movies that I watched when I was younger, but they mean so much more than those movie moments. They mean bonding with my sister and my dad. They mean recreating the "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" moment from Top Gun for my mom, who was reading a book in her bedroom. The one song from Ghost (also by the Everly Brothers) brings up no memories of that movie for me but instantaneously takes me back to when my college roommate and I were driving to Julio's house singing the song as badly and loudly as possible. "Rebel Rouser" from Forrest Gump has no Forrest-like associations. Instead, when I hear it, I can remember summer days driving down Schwaegel Road (now Greenmount) in my Volkswagen Golf, going as fast as was safe (to feel the bumps on the edge of the "pavement" a little less), with the windows down because the air conditioner had run out of freon long ago, and actually getting along with my sister for the length of those 15 minute rides from our house to the Mielke's house to watch World Cup soccer.

My Top Ten List about Music for ENGL 101

2008-01-16T10:20:00.000-06:00

I assigned the Music-themed 101 students to create a "top ten" list of songs or artists or albums or whatever to represent what music they like and why. In all fairness, I decided to take on this task as well. I know this will be easier for some people than others. And I'm not particular about what number anyone ends up with; the point is, after all, to just list what you like and why.

Nicole's Top Ten

The Beatles Early Beatles. Middle Beatles. Late Beatles. I like 'em all. And there is a time and a place for just about all Beatles music (excepting dreadful songs like "She's Leaving" from Sgt. Pepper's). Favorite songs of theirs at the moment: Norwegian Wood, Revolution, Something, In My Life, When I'm 64, Hey You've Got to Hide Your Love Away, Come Together...the list could go on an on and on.

Dave Matthews Band This probably shows my age. DMB was my college rock. I've seen them in concert 3 times (and I am not a concert-goer). I like Under the Table and Dreaming for everyday moods and Live at Red Rock is great background music for when I am writing (especially "Seek Up"). Long long ago, my sister gave me a taped copy of "Long Black Veil" (DMB's cover of a great Johnny Cash song). I played that song on the way to work. When I got to a certain point in the song, I rewound it and played it again. That was the only part of the tape I listened to. Until a week ago, I didn't have a non-tape version of it. I found it on iTunes last week, and (not to be too overly dramatic about this), you would have thought I'd been reconnected with a long-lost friend. It was as welcome as a call from a college friend I haven't heard from in a year or two. (which coincidentally happened the same week that I refound LLV)

U2: Joshua Tree and Rattle and Hum I can live without all of U2, but these two albums are ones I do not have to be in a certain mood to hear. I can listen to them whenever, wherever. "With or Without You," "All I Need is You," and "Bullet the Blue Sky" are particular favorites.

Eric Clapton from classic guitar rock like "Cocaine" to "Layla" to the beautiful "Wonderful Tonight" to the 80's-ish "It's in the Way that You Use It" to the great-to-blast-in-the-car "She's Waiting" to the bluesy songs on From the Cradle, I like 'em all. He doesn't have the best voice in the world, but he knows how to use it and use those fabulous guitar skills are pretty much beyond compare.

Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young When looking over my musical tastes, I can usually point to a certain time period where I was immersed in such and such or I can see where I've picked up my mom's musical affection for songs with a certain backbeat. CSNY is purely my dad's influence. My dad sings along (not always correctly) with various parts of CSNY's harmonies. For the longest time, I didn't know what the "do do do do doot" part of "Suite: Judy Blues Eyes" sounded like without my dad's voice in there too. Speaking of that song, I love how it feels like 5 songs in one. Just when you think one part of the song is closing, it moves into a different movement which is distinct on its own and yet belongs to the song at the same time. I also love, love, love "Southern Cross" and Stills' "If You Can Be With the One You Love, Love the One You're With" (which should possibly lead me to explain that some songs are loveable not for their main message but just because they are good music).

Paul Simon/ Simon and Garfunkel I firmly believe Paul Simon is the best song writer. What amazes me is that each album of his is a distinct creation, born of a new sound inspiration AND the lyrics are meaningful and cooperate with the sound in such a way that both the lyrics and the music are stronger for their partnering. Simon and Garfunkel faves: The Boxer, I am a Rock, America, Leaves That Are Green, Cecilia. Paul Simon solo faves: Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard, Gone at Last, You Can Call Me Al, The Obvious Child.

The Who This spot on the list is really due to just two songs: Who Are You and Baba O'Riley (Teenage Wasteland). I really understand why Pete Townshend's hearing is so poor. When I play these songs in the car (when driving without the kids), I blast them and play the drums on the steering wheel.

The Black Crowes "Hard to Handle" "She Talks to Angels" and "Jealous Again"

Stevie Ray Vaughn "Mary Had a Little Lamb" "Voodoo Child" "Lovestruck Baby" "Tightrope." Sadly, I have noticed that all of the blues music that I listen to is by white guys. I think that's a bit backwards, but it is what it is.

Ok, I am now finding this harder to do. It's really difficult to choose between all kinds of artists to fill out 4 more spots, so I am going to cheat a little (as the 101 students are allowed to do as well) and leave the top ten format to just list a bunch of songs that tend to get repeated in multiple playlists on my iPod. I feel they need no justification if you are familiar with them, and if you are not, well, no explanation of mine will help.

Ain't No Sunshine Bill Withers

All Along the Watchtower (DMB version or Hendrix)

Are You Gonna Go My Way Lenny Kravitz

Baby I Love You Aretha Franklin

Beverly Hills Weezer

Blister in the Sun Violent Femmes

Brown Eyed Girl Van Morrison

Bust a Move Young MC

Danny's Song Loggins and Messina

Drift Away Dobie Gray

Handle with Care Travelling Wilburies

Here It Goes Again Ok Go

Hey Hey What Can I Do Led Zepellin

Hurdy Gurdy Man Donovan

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) Proclaimers

I Can't Make You Love Me Bonnie Raitt

If I Had No Loot Tony Toni Tone

If I Needed You Emmylou Harris

In Your Room Bangles

Into the Mystic Van Morrison

Loser Beck

Morning Has Broken Cat Stevens

Never Tear Us Apart INXS

Only Happy When It Rains Garbage

Red House Jimi Hendrix

Roadhouse Blues The Doors

Seven Bridges Road The Eagles

She's Always a Woman Billy Joel

Should I Stay or Should I Go The Clash

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing Jack Johnson

Smoke on the Water Deep Purple

Solsbury Hill Peter Gabriel

Some Kind of Wonderful Grand Funk Railroad

Son of a Preacher Man Dusty Springfield

Soul Man Sam and Dave

Steal My Kisses Ben Harper

Sundown Gordon Lightfoot

Testing 1, 2, 3 Barenaked Ladies

The Joker Steve Miller Band

The Ring of Fire Johnny Cash

Up on Cripple Creek The Band

What Have I Done to Deserve This? Pet Shop Boys

Wish You Were Here Pink Floyd

You Can't Always Get What You Want Rolling Stones

This list is rather incomplete. It also highlights what I've been listening to lately...which for some reason includes more '80's stuff than usual. You can credit the iTunes essentials lists for that. I've been trolling through a couple out of curiousity and then I can't help but add some to my "to purchase from iTunes list" which kept growing in anticipation of gift cards for Christmas.

This may be more than anyone cares to know about my music habits, but I tend to compartmentalize just about everything, so music is no exception. When I am buying music without a giftcard, I buy just the things that I really, really want. Then, when I get a gift card, I buy the songs I have wanted but just haven't yearned for because I figure the gift cards are like free money, so why not buy that song you've always wanted but have yet to purchase, you know? At the same time, if the gift card came from someone whose musical tastes I share or appreciate, I also try to buy songs I think they would be happy for me to have. Michelle, if you ever read this, your gift card purchased "Long Black Veil" and an Emmylou Harris song as well as "Piece of my Heart" by Janis Joplin.

That also reminds me that I have started creating playlists by names of people in my life. I haven't gotten very far, but so far my mom, dad, husband and son all have one. Only my son really listens to his, but I like having songs that remind me of certain people lumped together.

This post is much longer than intended and has strayed into just informal blathering, so let's end it!

Steps 1 and 2 from CR

2008-01-15T08:45:00.000-06:00

This is me editing in class.

Language Acquisition

2008-01-11T09:41:00.000-06:00

I've been meaning to return to posting thoughts in this blog, but I just kind of coasted over break instead.

One thing I've really enjoyed lately is my 19-month old daughter is going through a language explosion. She is learning and using so many more words right now than she did just 2 weeks ago. It's interesting to see which words she decides to learn and use. Now, I know she knows many more words than she actually says, but you have to wonder what goes through her head when she decides this is a word she should try out loud. One of her favorites right now is "scratch." She has a scratch or "ow-ie" on her hand right now, so I don't know if she just likes having a word for this mysterious thing that is on her hand or if she likes the sound of "scratch" or something else entirely.

I'm really pleased that Ellie has started saying "Thank you" now. Well, her version of it anyway. She says something that resembles "taaaaaaaaaaaaanks" with a barely perceptible "n" in it. She has also started singing the ABC song. I can recognize the A-B-C part as actual A's, B's and C's. The rest is a little hit or miss. It goes into jibber jabber for a little while and then returns at LMNO (which most kids see as one letter transaction, not 4 distinct letters), and then she gets into singing really high pitched at the QRS time (just as me and her brother Nathan do and which my husband thinks is just wrong).

It's also funny to see the differences between my two kids in language acquisition. My daughter is very deliberate about her words. She likes to point to things and get us to label them for her and then she eventually points and labels them on her own. My son would point to things and say, "zis?" with a cute little high-pitched i in it. "Zis" stood for "What's this?" But he was more interested in the question-asking than he was the answer. His early language use was really about sound. He used words he liked the sound of. Even after he learned the basic words of his everyday baby/toddler world, he just liked to repeat words that sounded cool. He went through a "nacho" phase. He was 22 months old and really enjoyed hearing Spanish words. He had no idea what an enchilada was, but if we said that or chimichanga or anything like that, we could have him in fits of giggles. Ellie isn't interested in word sounds the same way. She's like a girl on a mission. She wants to know what she can call things and be understood. So she knows the words that are most important to her, which include fairly standard things like: mama, milk, more, mine, etc. (As a first child, my son didn't learn "mine" until much later.) But she also knows words for her favorite things, which are unfortunately: baby, shoes, toothbrush.

Why oh why are my kids obsessed with toothbrushes? It could be much worse, I suppose. I just wish they weren't also attracted to my toothbrushes.

Their language acquisition fits their personalities. Nathan has always been very easy going. He would know what he preferred to do, but was easily swayed to go on to something else (and had a short attention span). Elizabeth wants what she wants when she wants it and she wants it right now and stubbornly insists upon doing it her way. Nathan's early inquisitiveness has not faded one bit. He loves asking questions. In fact, his grandpa taught him at an early age to say, "I'm inquisitive." He still likes sounds and has to have sound effects for every activity and also makes up songs to go along with his activities (which he gets from his mother). It makes me wonder what Elizabeth will be like in 2 years.

I'm really enjoying watching her develop as an 18-24 month old. Check back in a month to see if I'm still enjoying it. Everyone talks about the terrible twos. She went through part of that at 12-16 months with the "mine" and "I can't do it myself" and "I want that" attitudes appearing early. I'm hoping that means I am relatively safe until she gets into the climbing into anything and everything and coloring on walls stage that happens between 2-3 years of age.

Grading Learning Community papers

2007-11-21T10:54:00.000-06:00

There are no classes today because of the Thanksgiving holiday. I got to sleep in a half hour this morning and wake up slowly with the kids. I gave them breakfast and then played Nintendo with Nathan a little before taking Nate and Ellie over to Mom's house so I could grade papers. I have the house to myself and have iTunes on. I should be good to go for paper-grading.

The problem is I am still letting someone's comment from yesterday get to me. A student said the Learning Community students feel they haven't learned to write because I haven't taught them to write. I could let loose a huge diatribe here about pedagogy and what it means to be "taught to write" these days, but I feel like that would accomplish very little. It would only make me feel more self-righteous and angry.

Instead, I'm looking at the stack of student papers I have to grade. I can honestly say there has been visible improvement in the writing of 9/17 students who remain in the class. Of those 9 students whose drafts have substantially grown over the semester, I notice some trends. The first is that the most successful of those students come prepared for first draft days and then heed the comments left for them during the peer review day (including the ones I leave). The other trend I see is the students who have changed their writing styles and upped the level of critical thinking in their papers were also prepared for the mid-term conference and talked honestly to me about their writing at that time.

Of the 8 who remain in the class but have not had the same success, I just plain ole don't know about 1-3 of them because they keep failing to turn something in. There can't be any improvement in the writing if the writing is not happening. I understand writer's block. I understand shutting down when things get too stressful. But, honestly, I cannot do anything for a student in that situation unless the student decides for herself that she is going to make a change and try to do something about it. And I cannot help at all if the student continues to spin her wheels in isolation. If nothing else, the value of the Learning Community should be that there are two teachers. If the student is unwilling to talk to me about it, then why haven't they gone to Denise for extra help? There are so many different ways to get help. If the student hasn't sought help and continues to blame others for the lack of productive homework, then, well...I'm actually speechless here. I don't know what.

The other students (the ones who have been turning things in but do not see the grades going up)-- well, I can make a reasonable guess here. My guess is that in the past they were provided with step-by-step instructions about how to write. Writing consisted of so many paragraphs, and word count was more important than what those words said. Points were deducted for so many comma splices and run-ons. Teachers put marks on the papers; the students tried to decipher the marks and "fix" them and then turned in a final draft, again with more emphasis on the surface of the writing than the text itself. Students used to that approach will find me frustrating because I refuse (flat out refuse) to believe that writing is a step-by-step formula to greatness. In fact, I think that is often a step-by-step to mediocrity. And I will not settle for mediocrity.

That is also why the A paper I just graded actually has more marks on it than a D paper might. Every paper, I read it for what it is and for what it could be. I think students are here to improve beyond what they are to evolve into what they could be. If that makes me a frustrating teacher, then so be it. I believe that is the path to genuine learning. If you want to rip me apart in teacher evaluations or even go complain to the department chair, fine. But you know what? At the end of the day, I know I am doing what I am supposed to be doing to make my students stronger writers who question what should go on the page instead of merely following directions.

And now, hopefully with that off my chest, I can go grade the remainder of the papers.

Thank God for the 11:00 class

2007-11-16T10:00:00.000-06:00

I'm going to miss my 11:00 005 class when this semester is over. They really do make my day every Tuesday and Thursday. The students in the class seem to look forward to being there. I enjoy seeing them and hearing what they have to say. They are genuinely involved in learning. And they have fun. We joke around while getting the learning done too.

I'm glad it's an 005 class because that means I may have the opportunity to have some of them in class again as they go on to take 101 and 102.

This 005 class may be part of the reason I am so disappointed with the writing in the 101 class. These Basic Writing students are writing much better than my 101 students right now. I haven't told some of them yet, but I am positive a number of the students from this class will receive the proficiency rating and will be eligible to skip over taking the 006 class. I can't wait to tell them that they earned it.

So...if any of you happen to read this, thank you. Your participation and enjoyment has really helped me this semester, and I feel honored if I have been able to help you.

the 13th week, and I'm sick

2007-11-15T10:34:00.001-06:00

This is the 13th week of classes. There are 16 weeks in the semester, plus the week of finals.

It truly amazes me how few students realize how little time there is left. These are the students who just let classes happen to them. These are also the students who (once they realize how little time there is left and what their grades currently are) expect me to be available for them 24/7 when they haven't been doing what they were supposed to be doing all semester long. I want to look at these students and say, "You do realize there are only 3 weeks left in the semester, right? What do you expect to accomplish in those three weeks that you haven't accomplished in 13? And why do you expect me to be supplying you with a lifeline? Shouldn't you be the one doing all the effort here?" At the same time, any effort that someone can exert should be exerted....but it ought to be student effort, not teacher effort.

It's just that I have no more energy to give to the students. I am sick. I have the kind of cough that keeps going until something is coughed up, and the more I talk, the more something somewhere decides it needs to be coughed up. So I am a coughing, wheezing, head-achy mess. But I am here. I am here so the 005 students can have every possible moment to work on their portfolios before turning them in and I am here so the 102 students can have feedback on their research paper progress. I may cough up a lung while I am giving the feedback, but I am here.

And that is why I am especially crabby about the 13th week of classes. Despite feeling horrible, I still come to work to do my job. I don't just hole up somewhere and pretend the world doesn't exist and then expect to pick up precisely where I left off as if my absence really did stop the world for a moment. Some students seem to think it actually works that way. And then they expect me to do the work of catching them up for them. Where does this come from? Did their high school teachers do this? Do their mothers do this for them? Whose life honestly works that way?

When I'm sick and recuperating in bed, it means I get up to twice the laundry and the dishes and the kids feeling especially needy or the stack of papers to grade is twice as high or whatever. That work doesn't just go away. I don't just buy more towels or underwear or paper plates and hand the kids over to someone else for a week. Granted, the kids have gone two days without baths, but hey, they are fed and in clean clothes, so who's going to notice the linty line in the crease in their necks, right?

I just really hope the 11:00 and 2:00 classes have their homework done today. That's all I'm asking for. I'm here to teach. Just please come prepared, so I don't feel like I am dragging my half-dead body here for no reason at all. If the students are not here to learn, then what do they honestly expect from me?

Erasure Revisited

2007-10-23T10:49:00.000-05:00

This is another post about Erasure by Percival Everett. Previous post on this book done on June 30th.

I find this book fascinating for what it says about publishing and academia. It exposes all sorts of hypocrisy and I love it for that. I'm a little conflicted though because all of the in jokes and references to other texts show that I am all too aware of this other world that he is writing about. I cannot congratulate myself too much on it because it means that I am part of it then. This understanding comes with responsibility. I just reread "White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Backpack" (a great article my office mate suggested. available on-line by googling it) and I think that the rereading of that article partnered with the revisiting of Erasure is making me dwell on aspects I had not picked up on to begin with. Plus, something Denise said has me looking at it again too. She observed that Monk/Everett does not identify characters by race. Very interesting.

So here I am thinking out loud on the blog about the book. This is free form reflection that may or may not make sense, but is an example of my trying to make sense of something I have not yet formalized in words.

Denise and I talked at length about a week ago about the paper that Monk presents at the conference and whether or not it is meant to be understood. On first read, I just kind of glanced at it to see what it was but didn't really read it. I had the thought that it was part of the whole Structural movement I was forced to learn about in a Literary Criticism class but never really fully understood. I knew for sure that the instructor teaching that class didn't really understand it either. Denise and I talked about how we didn't really expect students to get it but thought we should give them something to show that it is real and that this comes from somewhere. I now see that paper as an important part of the whole book though its importance is difficult to understand.

It all rests on the idea that there is something being represented. As soon as something gets represented, it gets associated with the representation while at the same time cannot be the same as the symbol because the symbol is just a symbol. In the case of Monk's paper, he is explaining (or at least I think he's explaining) about that symbol and the thing the symbol represents and says that the key to it all and what makes it really interesting is the slash between them. While I don't entirely get all of that paper and all of the stuff that Sausseure and all the people associated with the stuff I didn't get as an undergrad, I do think there is a level of all of that going on in the book with the different angles of the book.

For instance, in the beginning of the book, Monk says he's the type of person to say Egads. When he is in his Lee alter ego, he also says Egads, which suggests that that alter ego cannot entirely be an alter ego; there are bits of himself that come through. When he's talking to his publisher (before My Pafology) about how he cannot get published, he is told to write something like My Second Failure. That book was his biggest commercial success but he said he hated writing it and said it was about how a character didn't understand why his lighter skinned mother was ostracized by the black community, so he went and killed a bunch of people. How is that so different from My Pafology? Isn't it just an upscale hoity toity version of the same book he later writes and hates? The layering in this book is unreal! You have Native Son retold in My Pafology while the frame story is essentially a more modern version of Invisible Man. I know Monk is not as underground as the protagonist in Invisible Man, but academics and obscure authors, I am sure, feel the types of things the Invisible Man protagonist writes about. Ok, so we have the layers in the actual fiction. Frame story mimics Invisible Man. Novel within the novel mimics Native Son. The novel within the novel also mimics another novel the narrator has written, one that is barely mentioned. All of this representation is explained (kind of) in the paper the narrator presents at a conference but the paper isn't understood. All of this mess (all of the racism in the book and real life) is talked about and talked about and is talked of by people living it, by people outside of it and it is just all talked around and about and upside down, but is it ever understood???

The irony of it all is this is fodder for a paper that could be presented at a conference. But who would be there to hear the paper? A bunch of tenure-seeking people who also write obscure papers to prove that they are academic enough to teach classes that half the time get taught by grad assistants so the "real" teacher can pursue his research. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I appreciate my tenure-track position at a community college, where if I want to take a class or write a paper, it is because I want to and not because I have to. Of course, it wouldn't bother me at all to have a grad assistant help me with the grading... : ) But then, I don't have lecture hall class sizes. And a portion of the closed classes always disappears around mid-term, so that my 20-25 students dwindle down to 12-18 students in the end. Again, community college wins from a teaching perspective! Teachers here are encouraged to experiment with their classes and to do faculty development that filters into how they teach their classes.

I'm building steam to write a longer post about academia that I don't really feel like writing right now. Perhaps another day.

My t.v. habits

2007-10-18T09:41:00.000-05:00

Ok, not that I think anyone cares, but for some reason I feel the need to clog cyberspace with my thoughts on what's on t.v. this Fall.

Thursday nights
I used to love Thursday night t.v. I remember watching The Cosby Show when I was younger and then Friends and other shows when I was in high school and college. When Kevin and I were newly married, we would cook an easy newlywed dinner (i.e. frozen pizza, toasted ravioli and the like) and camp out in front of the t.v. together to watch Survivor and then CSI and even, dare I say it?, Gilmore Girls back when it was on Thursdays. This year, we have made the decision to just say no to Thursday night t.v. Well, Survivor lost its appeal to me long, long ago. CSI used to be one of my favorite shows, back when it cleverly referred to Sherlock Holmes mysteries and led viewers to actually care who did the crime. Now, it just gets more far-fetched with every year and the people who commit the crimes are just nasty psychopaths or people with really ridiculous motives...so Kevin and I are saying "Goodbye" to Thursday night t.v....which is just fine since Monday night has taken over as the night for us to vedge out together to watch shows we're both interested in.

Finally, a reason to like Mondays!
We've been hooked on Heroes since it started last year. I admit it; we wanted to know how saving the cheerleader would save the world. Really, I think we both watch it because we love Hiro. I like it because it makes me try to guess what will happen next. I don't want to just mindlessly watch a t.v. show. I enjoy overanalyzing it. And I love that the Heroes website puts a new graphic novel up every week to supplement what happened in the show. I am just geeky enough to go to it every Tuesday to read it while I eat lunch. The strangest thing about Heroes is that I constantly mutter to myself that it was mildly disappointing that they didn't show more or reveal more, but it is that same quality that keeps me coming back for more every week.

Over the summer, I got hooked on How I Met Your Mother. This show reminds me of my college friends. It doesn't remind me of any specific friends, but just the kind of weird inside jokes and conversations about things that were really meaningless but also not meaningless. The way they would say, "wait for it" was like the stupid little way any word ending in "er" could be made fun of with the rejoinder, "____-er? I barely even know 'er," but I digress. The show was one I enjoyed but could live without. It has since been replaced by....wait for it....

Chuck
I love this show. What's somewhat funny (not laugh-out-loud funny, admittedly) is that everyone who knew about this show would tell my husband he should watch it. Kevin is a computer technician and he pretty much conforms to the computer technician stereotypes. Until a month ago, he had the same haircut he had worn, well, since forever, really. He wears khakis or colored khakis every workday. He's constantly attached to his phone which is also a PDA. So, we both take great joy in really liking Chuck. Kevin thinks he could be Chuck. Kev's also really surprised that I like Chuck maybe even more than he does.

Some concerns with the show though...I could live without the gratuitous weiner girl fight each week, but I also find it funny. It reminds me of how Alias used to construct the most implausible situations for Sydney to fight in. I think as long as a show is somewhat making fun of themselves as they do it, it will remain cool, but as soon as they lose sight of that self-deprecating level, it becomes absolute nonsense.

And that reminds me of another reason I love Chuck: John Casey. I had no clue one of the agents from The Matrix could be so funny. I also have no clue when I'm going to stop inserting "Mr. Anderson" after pauses in the actor's speech. We shall see. I still have trouble refraining from adding "Dude" to whatever Keanu Reeves says. John Casey is this NSA guy who is supposed to be watching and protecting Chuck, a guy who has this super-confidential computer program installed in his brain. John Casey is the kind of guy who takes his work way too seriously and that's why he's so funny. Last episode, he tried to make a joke. And it wasn't even that funny, but when he laughed at his own joke, I couldn't stop laughing! I'm laughing at it right now even. Which makes Kevin laugh at me.

This November will mark our 8th anniversary. We only watch shows that we will watch together. If the other one doesn't really get into it, it doesn't become a priority...but the ones that are priorities get taped and watched after the kids go to bed. Come to think of it, the tape that we have been taping everything on has been in use since we would tape West Wing and watch it that way so we could rewind and figure out what it was the characters had actually said....and we stopped watching West Wing ages ago. I can't believe the tape has lasted that long. Many people have tried to convince us to get TiVo or even to get cable, but as geeky as we are, we're even more cheap. Why pay for those things when the VCR works just fine? Why pay for cable when it would only make us watch more useless television? As it is, we can find ourselves too easily distracted by the unintentionally funny drama of America's Next Top Model or Beauty and the Geek. I can't believe that I just admitted I may actually watch those shows from time to time...

Just venting

2007-10-11T09:24:00.000-05:00

I have no idea what my brain has been doing while I've been sleeping, but I've woken up with songs stuck in my head the last few days and also have snippets of dream imagery pop up as I go about my day. I have had "Larry Boy" from a Vegggietales show stuck in my head all morning. It was "Love Hurts" by Nazareth all day yesterday. There's something cathartic about knowing I may have gotten one of those songs stuck in someone else's head just by mentioning them...of course, it hasn't helped to get the song out of mine yet... : (

The Progress of my classes so far this semester:
Mid-term is as likely a time as any other to pause to think about how things are going. It's interesting that the one class that I will not be teaching in Spring 2008 is the one that I am most happy with at the moment.
ENG 005: Basic Writing
My 005 classes have really surprised me this semester. I think I'm at the usual drop-rate by now, but the ones who remain are stronger than in past semesters. There are many who already strike me as students who will skip over 006 and we've only written 2 papers. It makes me excited to think of what they'll do in the remaining two papers. The students who are not succeeding at the moment also seem to admit that it is their own fault that they haven't progressed as much as they or I would like them to. I wish all students had their maturity level.
ENG 101: Learning Community Rhet. Comp I
I'm sad to say Denise and I felt the need to do a mini-intervention yesterday. I think there was a lot of frustration all around. I was really sad and cranky after the first final papers came in. They averaged below a C+, and that was with Denise saying I had been generous in some of the grades. It seems like we have a number of students who are A-/B+ writers who did not "bring it" in the first batch of graded essays. That really confused me because their first drafts looked strong, but then the revision that was needed didn't get done or strange decisions were made during the revision process. There don't seem to be any students right in the middle either. It seems like the grades fell into the B+ or D categories. That means there's a whole group of students who are learning in the classes, but it's not showing in college-level writing yet. And that scares me!

So, we surveyed students to find out how much work they are putting into the classes. A little under half of them admitted to spending under 3 hours a week on preparing for the two classes! 3 hours a week is what students should spend on one college course alone, minimum! No wonder I was disappointed with the papers. I spent at least 6 hours grading the 17 papers that were turned in. And that reminds me-- the vibe I got from Sue McClure (our intervention facilitator) was that for the students to put more effort into the homework, we're probably going to have to grade more of it on a regular basis. Oh, how I do not want to do that. I hate book-keeping. Hate hate hate it. For several reasons. First, it cuts into time for what I consider to be my real work: offering useful comments on writing and preparing lessons. Second, it just seems so high school-ish. Or even junior high-ish. In the real world, people are not going to micromanage every little task you are assigned. And I don't want to either. Another important reason is that it often makes the work seem even more like busywork. It turns learning into a performance and a task-list instead of an intuitive instrinsic thing and I HATE that. Loathe it even more than I loathe the paperwork portion of it. Want to smash thinking like that into a little pulp. A student wrote me to say she was "working her ass off" to complete assignments for the class. I feel the same way about preparing for this class and integrating it with the other one and then to add to that micromanaging 18 students' blogs and daily work to verify that they are doing what we just want them to do anyway so they can learn more effectively and fully. There's got to be a better way.

ENG 102: Rhet Comp II...i.e. the research class
It's amazing what night and day 101 and 102 are, despite there being only a semester's difference between the two classes. In 101, some allowance has to be made for the fact that this is likely many of the students' first college semester, and that results in rules and regulations and homework grading (see above). In 102, they have more of a "been there. done that" aura. I completely relax with my 2:00 102 class. They tell me what they need. They ask the questions they need to ask. I just kind of guide them here or there. If they do the work or don't do the work, they accept the consequences and we move on. I keep harping on them to read the textbook assignments. My only worry is that I have a strong sneaking suspicion that some of them are not reading it and are going to turn in a formulaic standard research paper and wonder what went wrong with their grade at the end of it all. I need to write an assignment sheet with guidelines on it. Whenever I hear the word "guidelines," I think of "parlay" (spelling??) from Pirates of the Caribbean.

Anyway...on to the on-line course. Apart from being swamped in electronic paperwork for that class, I am really pleased with the class overall. I can't believe the community and comraderie this class has established on-line. Though they are all on their own individual projects at the moment, they still offer feedback for one another in a courteous, genuine way. And most of them seem to be following their interests...which makes for better research papers in the end. I'm not on the mean satisfied with their second projects, so I think I need to be more directive with those next semester, but I think they learned valuable lessons about the need for focus and planning and the like before moving on to their next paper.

Wrapping this post up...
I have conferences with 005 students restarting in 40 minutes, so I am going to close this out, listen to something to purge my brain of the song that is still in it, finish my Dr. Pepper and use the bathroom and try to accomplish one of the assignment sheets I referred to in this post. But I feel better after venting.

Sample Blog for 102 classes: Title of source would go here

2007-10-09T14:25:00.000-05:00

Source publication info would go here: Author's last name, first name. "Article title." Magazine title Publication date: page #s. If not PDF full-text, EBSCO info would follow. Long story short, do some bibliographic info and use your handbook to know for sure what to place here.

PART ONE: NOTES AND QUOTES
In this section, I would provide an overall summary of what this source had to say.

I also recommend putting in any commentary that will help you distinguish this source from the many others you will read while researching. (Highly readable, a little obscure, good info for this point I want to make in the later part of my paper, etc. etc.)

Direct quotes from the article that are very good. Make sure to put " " around them. It is best to copy and paste them directly from an electronic source whenever possible, so you do not mistype something. For overkill, you could put the words "direct quote" or DQ behind it as well.

Paraphrases. In addition to direct quotes, give serious consideration to paraphrasing what was said in portions of the article as well. Make sure you put it IN YOUR OWN WORDS and do not borrow the original phrasing. Put the word "paraphrase" or some abbreviation for it behind it to indicate that it is not the original wording. These types of notes record what was said or the gist of what was said when the wording is not particularly interesting to begin with.

PART TWO: REFLECTIONS
In this section, write about what the source made you think about your topic. In this section, you may choose to write about what you thought about the source specifically, but branching out into what you now think about your topic helps tremendously too. Having full reflections in your blog will help you when you go to write your first draft later on.

It should be noted, however, that the reflections should also pertain to your topic. Keep your focusing question in the back of your mind. The reflections should help answer that question in some way.

How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents

2007-10-08T13:23:00.000-05:00

Whew. I have finished reading all of the LC Book Club books. This one was just a reread.

Interesting timing for this reread because we're about to read "The Story of my Body" and I can see all kinds of overlap (Yolanda wanting to be strong and also being perceived as an exotic person in college years, Carla being ashamed of her hairy legs and such, Sandi admiring the flamenco dancers, all 4 girls being called "spic").

Upon my rereading, I wondered why Fifi had such a small role in the book. We don't really learn anything about her as a young child except what is mentioned in the other girls' sections in a casual way. Julia Alvarez has admitted that Yolanda is a sort of autobiographical character, so it is clear why so much of the book is about her. Carla was just sort of boring, which (sad to say since I too am the oldest) is kind of the role of the oldest child. Sandi was really interesting to me but not a whole lot was done with her adult character.

As a lit person, I like to examine the structure of a book. There is a chapter that doesn't seem to fit-- the one on Chucha, the nanny/cook. She gets to wrap up the part where the family leaves to go to New York. As an outside observer, she gives the most inciteful comment about the girls: they will forever be affected by the things that have formed them in their homeland whether or not they realize it. This is so true. The problems that Yo and Sandi have can be traced to specific times on the island. Carla's insecurities are traced to more general familial role problems but also her transition to becoming American. Fifi-- we don't have enough on her childhood to know if her issues stem from that time, but I can't help but think there is something up with the different codes of behavior allowed for men and women and that double standard of men being congratulated for the "macho" behavior of sowing wild oats and passing their name on to boys instead of girls and the like while the young women are to be protected and chaperoned and are not allowed to enjoy their sexuality unless they are belong to a toss-away social level and even then, they are supposed to enjoy it in a subservient way (from the part with Vic, the American).

How did we end up with sex in all four of the book club novels?
Frank in Catch Me If You Can was always chasing a new girl. Garcia Girls had far too many penis references. No Telephone to Heaven had disturbing sexual behavior. She's Not There had the safest, tamest sexual references and it is about getting a sex change!

The Learning Community is covering gender right now. While we've briefly talked about the double standard that happens with men and women and housework, we haven't done much with other double standards. I think they are really changing right now. When I was in college, there were much different "rules" for guys and girls. Now, not so much.

Anyway...to draw this back in to How the Garcia Girls Lost their Accents, there seems to be such a difference between real identity that the girls have on the inside and the identity they show to the world. The parts with the SIM showed what was said and unsaid with just body language. The part with Yolanda and Rudolf something something the third (my favorite section of the book) showed how conflicted she was and seemingly confused about which codes of behavior to follow and which to toss out. Interesting stuff, well, to me anyway.

No Telephone to Heaven

2007-10-01T08:16:00.000-05:00

This is one of the Book Club selections for the Learning Community.

Gotta say-- I didn't particularly enjoy this book. I expected more than it was. The character development was really interesting, but the flow of the novel was just off to me. I don't like it when I don't know what the overall structure will be. I don't want predictability, but I do want to know if it will be about a different character or a different movement in the book or whatever. When it shifted to another part, I couldn't tell you why it shifted or who it was now about or even why I should care.

The most interesting character in the book was Harry/Harriet and he/she never got a section of her own. She/he did at least get to have his say more than once.

There is much to the book in terms of identity, race and gender (our themes for the class). Jamaica had much going on with different color lines. The fairer the skin, the more wealth and power. They had labels for the different gradations. Most of what was going on with Clare seemed to be because she felt guilty that she was fairer skinned than her mom and sister and she seemed to be mad at the fact that she could "pass." Like most people, Clare seems to think about things like our themes without realizing she's thinking about those things. It seems like she thinks around them. I think that's quite natural. It's not like people who are daydreaming all of a sudden say to themselves, "Ok, I'm going to think about my race right now and what impact that it has had on my life," but they might find themselves thinking about something else and it trails into the race area of thought without race being officially the target of the thought.

Interesting that this book has some overlap with She's Not There (transgendered character) and How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents. Ok, it's been a long time since I read the Garcia girls book, but I seem to remember it being divided into sections in the same way that No Telephone is. Of course, I wasn't bothered by the Garcia girls division the way I was this one. I think it was the poems and quotes in the beginning of each new section. (My apologies to Tony here...) "I'm not going to lie to you" I didn't get them. Half the time they were in a different language. The other half, they were obscure poetry. I suppose I would understand them more if it were my second time reading the book, but for a first read...Nope. Didn't get it.

The violence also got to me. Why was the Christopher chapter in the book where it was? Harry/Harriet said the thing that happened to him/her had no bearing on how he/she turned out, but did it? The part with Bobby brought home something I already knew about war: the soldiers who return need more than physical healing. There are mental/emotional scars that will be open for a long time, possibly forever.

That reminds me...the book isn't essentially a bad book. The author obviously has skill. It's just that the meaning of everything is unclear to a first-time reader. I think that some things should be discernible on a first read or who's going to read to the end? It's fine to have deeper meanings embedded in the text, but if there are no surface meanings and connections, then it's like wandering through an unfamiliar house in the dark. Sure, you know that's a couch and that is an end table, but what the heck is that weird freaky shadowy thing over there? Is it important? Is it not as weird as it appears right now? Who knows until the lights are turned on, you know?

This reveals another thing about me. Deep down...well, actually not that deep down....Anyway...I was going somewhere with this--- ah, yes. I was going to tell you or myself or whomever that I am not a poetry person. I have always valued prose far about poetry. It's because I don't like images coming at me here and there without background or explanation. That's really how I felt about this book. It's like poetry. It may even be good poetry, but the fact that it has complex images presented side by side with other complexities and leaves it all up to me wasn't enjoyable to me.

I'm curious to see what the Book Club people think about it.

Awakening

2007-09-23T16:25:00.000-05:00

I just finished Kate Chopin's The Awakening.

Denise and I were talking the other day about how students might find non-fiction easier than fiction. I guess this is because it tends to be a little more straightforward and less picturesque. Of course, that's a huge overgeneralization. Anyway, back to Chopin. In one respect I think this book will be easier than others for students: there are moments where Chopin just comes out and says specifically what is going on with Edna in very quotable chunks. It seems like every other page has underlining in it in my book and I am a very picky underliner.

One thing I did not notice or take the time to notate in my first read(s) of the book was the use of two words: awakening and possession. These words are all over the place in the whole book but particularly in the last chapters.

That begs an interesting question about love and possession. Is to love and be loved a form of possession? We feel entitled to something when we love someone and they love us back, so I guess that would be a form of ownership. I got into a conversation with my mom about how some people are so hard to be around because they seem to think popularity and love are areas for competition. They have a need to be loved the most or more than someone else. I think Edna was the opposite of this. She loved very deeply but found that love took more from her than it gave. She was very sensitive to the level of sacrifice she had to attain to be around her loved ones. I do not question whether or not she loved her kids. She loved them but found it difficult to be around them because of all that she had to do for them out of that love and nurturing. It is difficult to love halfway.

Last summer, I was able to stay home with my kids full-time. Elizabeth was born in June. Nate was almost 3. I enjoyed watching Ellie grow from a sleepy infant to a cooing baby. I loved watching Nate grow and watching his mind work through things. I cuddled with them. I read to them. I watched Nathan run around. But by the end of the day when my husband came home, I had had enough. I not only needed adult conversation; I needed to have moments where I was not needed. This is the sticking point. This is what some fathers fail to understand and what a lot of pet-owners don't seem to get when they compare their pets to children. You cannot tell the kids, "Go away for two hours" or 'Take care of yourself for a couple of minutes so I can think about such and such issue fully instead of multi-tasking yet again." I found myself changing a diaper while talking on the phone and mentally planning dinner while keeping one eye and ear on a busy toddler. That's exhausting.

I think mothers also have a more physical connection with their children. For nine months, they knew my heartbeat as a constant sound. My kids come to me for snuggling and for comfort. When they want a hug or a comfy pillow, it is mommy they come running to. This is wonderful. But it too is draining. Last summer, when my husband would walk in the door, I would ask him, "Please hold them. Let me have half an hour where I do not hold a kid." It wasn't like I held them all day long, either. It was just that throughout the day, they would need me, and that need was such a physical need. I needed to recharge somehow, and that only seems to come from being away from them for a little bit.

In the book, that image of the sea seemed so appropriate. That ebb and flow of water under the sway of something so powerful and mysterious. I could see any love relationship as having that pull. There should be an equal balance there. Something giving but also taking, something taking but also giving. My children take some of my energy but they give it back to in the weirdest and sweetest of ways. Edna got to a point where she the kids were just a reminder of everything in her life that was always pulling, pulling. With that association made, it was hard to see them as anything else. That was particularly clear to me when she was with Adele Ratignolle as Adele gave birth. Edna could focus only on the pain and "torture." To miss the wonder of it all: that a little person is now in the world and that little person is part you and part of your husband. The little person has ten fingers and ten toes and fingerprints and tiny little fingernails! She was right. She wasn't awake for it all. I don't know if that was a result of the chloroform or whatever they used on women back then, but...to only focus on the pain and the sacrifice means she missed out on much that was good. The awakening she had seemed to close her off to that possibility.

This all puts me in mind of Virgina Woolf's "A Room of One's Own." Right now, I am home alone. I have been home alone all day, trying to get rid of a sinus headache. I'm supposed to be grading papers. Oops. It is amazing how much of a difference it makes to have some time to myself. Right now I am feeling the ebb and flow of teaching: good moments in the classroom vs. weekend hours spent grading papers!

Second seminar-- 9/12

2007-09-13T15:31:00.000-05:00

At the beginning of the second seminar, I asked students to take out their seminar papers and their textbooks and open to the text. I also asked if they would like me to interrupt if they strayed off topic or allow them to handle it themselves; they said they would prefer to be gently guided back to topic. This reminder and discussion at the front end seemed to emphasize the importance of both staying on topic and remaining close to the text. They succeeded on both accounts and made very good connections and observations. It was wonderful to observe, and again I am amazed at what students are capable of if given the opportunity to shine on their own without constant hovering.

Denise and I had talked about the last seminar debriefing and decided it was just plain awakward. Students talked around things and ended up dwelling on topics a little removed from the text's main points with one student trying his darnedest (is that a word?) to get them to see what they were doing. We decided a big part of the problem was the awkwardness of the large group size (20) and how that made some students hesitant to talk and other students all too willing to fill the void. We discussed and determined it was important to us to have students spend some time in individual writing (that did not go well, but I think it was because Denise and I created some sort of a distraction...perhaps just me. I don't specifically recall what happened). Then we asked students to break into their clans and get with a clan they had not been with at 8 a.m. Then, the two small clans together would have to share with each other the highlights of what happened in their seminars. This was ideally what we wanted to happen last time too. Instead, it actually happened this time.

But something unanticipated happened too. Two clans took too much pride in what they had accomplished in seminar and seemed to battle it out over who had the "right" approach. The funny thing is at 9 a.m. when Denise and I got together, we talked about how our different groups had done and bragged on each one a bit to talk about what they had talked about. We were pleased with the different topics covered and thought that sharing all of that would give students more to talk about. We never dreamt it would be divisive!

It's kind of like when two kids fight over who loves mommy more. On the one hand, the mom is upset because they are fighting. On the other, she's pleased that she's loved enough to be fought over. I'm glad that the students are taking pride in what they accomplish in seminars. I'm exceedingly glad with what they are actually learning and the connections they are making in the seminars. The next task is to try to get that to transfer over to the paper writing.

Movie: Zodiac

2007-09-05T10:14:00.000-05:00

What an interesting movie! It's dark, but that's to be expected from a movie about a serial killer. What surprised me was the humor. It's not laugh-out-loud funny, but there are little moments sprinkled throughout that make you go, "Heh." There was one part where a guy has been contacted by the killer and he tells the police the Zodiac kept calling but never left a number, and the policeman responded, 'Yeah, he's kind of crafty like that." What's interesting to me is at first I thought it was kind of strange that there was so much humor, but then I got to thinking how real it is that the humor is there...because that's what we do in situations like those. In order to persevere, we use humor to lighten the mood and make it seem like it isn't as bad as it is.

The whole movie is a great study in realism. It's about a serial killer, but what it is really about is obsession with the serial killer and one man's pursuit of the guy. The direction is fantastic. At first I was a little dismayed by how long the movie is, but the length helps reinforce how much time went by without the Zodiac being captured. That element of time is necessary for us to come to the same conclusions that the people in the movie are coming to. The whole thing was very artfully crafted for very particular reasons and to create a certain affect.

So many movies are done a little haphazardly. There's a lack of connection in the plotline and the characters seem to do things in a random way. Not so here. The big difference is the amount of detail used. The writers and the director seemed to intentionally go for substance over using tried and true strategies. I noticed they didn't over-rely on certain shots and soundtrack and things like that. Don't get me wrong, they did very artful shots and also had a soundtrack, but they didn't use it like so many others do. It wasn't there as a shortcut; it was there for a reason. They didn't always play the "the killer is coming" music. They didn't stage those cheesy "dunt dunt dunhnh" moments all the time, so when those moments actually came, they were more significant. I got chills, honest-to-goodness-full-body-goosebumps. Twice! That only happened because I was so fully sucked into the story and what had happened. I was invested in it. I felt like I was viewing it all happen first person. The story was mine.

There's a message here for writers too. All of this stuff with intentional movie-making and how this impacted me is true for good writing. Don't rely on cliches. Don't do the tried and true stuff all the time or it will become cliched. Go for substance and take your time. Get the reader to care. The details in this movie paid off. They are what allowed me to experience it as it happened. One example here. There are multiple scenes that happen where the cartoonist and the newspaper reporter have desks. I have no idea what the San Francisco Chronicle work area looked like in the late sixties and early seventies. No idea. But in this movie, there was a huge room, the size of a school cafeteria, and it had fifty desks in it, all cluttered with paper and the debris of working. I didn't look at each desk, but I'd venture a guess that each one was slightly different in terms of how much clutter and personalization. The movie-makers didn't have to go to that effort. How many people actually look at a desk that is fifteen rows from the main desk where the two characters are talking? Probably none. But...rather than have the set be a smaller area with just enough detail for them to shoot the two characters around one desk, the movie-makers went through the effort of constructing the whole room and each individual desk with its own clutter. That's what makes it real. I believe that is what the SF Chronicle area looked like during that time period. That belief and that trust allow me to believe all of the rest of it.

First Official Seminar Day

2007-08-29T11:25:00.000-05:00

Now listening to: The Who's "Who Are You?"
This is actually learning community related. Denise and I chose our title for the learning community class we'll do next semester. Our current one isn't truly indicative of what the class is, so we've changed to "Who Are You?" as the beginning of the title. The subtitle is yet to be determined, but the main title led us to talk about the song, so I played it, got it stuck in my head (not a bad thing) and then am now re-playing it as I blog.

First Seminar
I am so happy today was a seminar day. I had an awful discussion with someone yesterday about how much work I feel like I am doing, so it was nice to have a day where students really put forth good effort and truly appeared to learn something good.

The seminar that I observed had just 8 students in it because two were absent. It went really well. Technically, I am supposed to just sit back and watch them discuss without interferring with my "teacherly" presence. I've always found this hard to do. It wasn't as difficult today because the students were having a good discussion on their own and did not need me. In earlier times when I have "interfered" I realize that they needed to learn that they did not need me. At the same time, I think students should be able to look to the teacher for some guidance as needed. I guess this could get into a semantic discussion of when it is really needed; that's a tough call to make.

Anyway, I did decide to interrupt at one point. I feel like I ought to slap my hand and say, "bad, bad Nicole, don't interrupt students' discussion." The students were talking about something that had a point, but the point was getting further and further distanced from the text. The point that was being made is actually something we're going to discuss at length in later seminars, so it was good to see that students wanted to go there, but for the time being, I felt it prudent to redirect them to the text and the topic for today. I also felt the need to do this during seminar debriefing later in the day. I feel like some students see this as a teacher interruption while others are grateful for the redirection. Again, a tough call to make.

Also on the topic of interruptions-- this one does actually call for a "bad, bad Nicole" moment. I participated in discussion near the end of the seminar because I just wanted to so badly. It was an intrusion. Again, students didn't seem to mind. It is just so hard to stay out of it. This is something I will need to get used to. Denise was good; she admitted to wanting to talk several times but not doing it, so students could all have their say. I have this problem in general conversation with just about everybody. I so badly want to say what I want to say that I sometimes do it despite there being no real need for me to put my two cents in right then.

Teacher-conversations
I have noticed conversations among people who teach are really strange in their dynamics. Most of the time a more assertive teacher personality will dominate the conversation for a long chunk of time, at the end of which, the other teacher will kind of say, "Yeah, well, and put forth an opinion." Some of the times the opinion relates, but most often it responds to something that was said about half-way through the "conversation." What's really funny is to watch two strong-willed teachers talk to one another. It's not a real conversation. Instead, it is one person expounding his views for 2 minutes and then the next person expounding her views for 2 minutes and then when it goes back to the original person, he picks up where he left off and then so on and so forth. There's a real lack of connection of ideas. What's sad is it's these people who are leading discussions in class. I tend to think of it as the Oprah phenomenon. Ever notice how Oprah feels she is so much more interesting than her guests that she always feels the need to pipe up with her view of things or her experiences? I mean, she has a point; her name is the one on the show....but I rarely watch because I keep thinking, "Sheesh. Let the man or woman talk!" It is moments like these when I really feel I ought to slap my hand and say "bad, bad Nicole" because I know it's hipocritical of me to say that of Oprah when I do it in my classroom or in conversation. But I also remind myself that I'm not paid millions of dollars. It now becomes obvious that I even interrupt myself in order to get my other perspective in.

Before I have yet another conversation with myself here, I'll wrap it up. Suffice it to say...Seminar-- good. I look forward to doing them throughout the semester. I will attempt to sit further away from the students for the next one. Maybe that will help eliminate interruptions. I did enjoy what the students were saying about the text and am really pleased with their group dynamics. It makes me curious to read their papers.

Fishbowls and ampitheatres

2007-08-28T10:06:00.000-05:00

Learning Community:
We had a "fishbowl" yesterday. Half of the students sat in an inner circle and discussed an assigned reading while the other half sat outside and observed the brouhaha (I love that word; melee could've worked too). We did one at 8 a.m. and then the students swapped places for another one at 10:00. Dianna came to observe the 8 a.m. one (and mentioned it in her blog, cool!). It went really, really well. The 10:00 one was a little rougher because it was about a short story, but still Denise and I were really pleased with what the students discussed. The general concept of seminars takes some warming up to, so it was good to see the students so willing to jump right in and give it a try. Our true seminars begin tomorrow.

It's so funny. All of the Learning Community teachers keep bumping into each other in the halls and it's like we're all in on some secret the way we look at each other and raise our eyebrows-- like, "How's it going? Have you seminared yet?" We feel like the cool teachers because we're having fun with our classes. Ok, I'm struggling a bit with the term "cool teachers" because it doesn't imply what I want it to, but any explanation I would give here would come off like trying to explain why a joke is funny, and it just wouldn't work.

102 on-line
Well, the 102 on-line class is off and running. I have the worst trouble with the first two weeks of the on-line courses. Students who are not used to WebCT need some time to process how to use it and just plain ole get signed into the course. Then, I asked them to get started using blogs too and start getting to know one another for groups and gave them their first assignment sheet for the Google Project #1. It's alot to deal with all at once. I think we have success though: I have not been bombarded with questions, but the questions that have been asked have been thoughtful. This means they are not overwhelmed with confusion by how I have things set up and are not afraid to ask questions when they have them. This really truly is the mark of a successful first week for an on-line course.

102 traditional
I like the group of students in the 102 class at 2:00. I think I just enjoy 2:00 classes period. (With the exception of the ADHD "wish I had duct tape" 2:00 class from Fall 2006. If any of you are reading this post, you know what I'm talking about!) Anyway, I'm teaching in two different classrooms for this class. On Tuesdays, we're in the computer lab-- I'm used to it. The summer 102 class was in the exact same room. On Thursdays though, we're in 1200. This room is usually used for music classes. It's a mini-ampitheatre, so the students are all in those chairs that have the flip-up tiny desks and they all look down to me. There's also a huge projection screen behind me. I knew all of this when I signed up for the class. What I didn't know was that the music people use Macs! I've never used a Mac before. I didn't even know where to start. There's nothing on the screen initially. Apparently, there's a secret navigation bar at the bottom of the screen. Luckily, I am not averse to asking my students for help with technology. Unfortunately, this Mac in particular only has Safari (never heard of it) which is not up and running with Google Documents yet, so my failsafe Plan B mode of getting to important documents is not failsafe after all...but wait, the lovely Helpdesk people have installed Mozilla Firefox now, so life is good.

The funniest thing about the ampitheatre room, though, is it has a piano in it. This is really childish and immature of me, but I can't help but think of a scene from a movie I really haven't even seen: The Fabulous Baker Boys. Anyway, all I remember is Michelle Pfeiffer singing from atop the piano. I didn't do that. (A. I don't look like Michelle Pfeiffer, B. I do not sing in public. Ever.) I did, however, play chopsticks-- the students dared me to. This just returns to what I was saying about 2:00 students. 2:00 students offer me licorice and dare me to play chopsticks. 8:00 students don't do that. 8:00 students are rule followers because they are still waking up or are type A students.

Harry Potter 5: the movie

2007-08-27T12:54:00.000-05:00

I know, I know...more Harry Potter??? yes, more Harry Potter.

My son asked if he could have a date with his babysitter (he doesn't understand the whole concept-- he just wanted to spend time playing with Carly), so my husband and I obliged by going on a date to (finally) see the fifth Harry Potter movie.

I must say my enjoyment of the movies would vastly improve if they were able to bring the first Dumbledore actor back from the dead. As this is impossible, would it be too much to ask that the current actor not wear pajamas and a bizarre beard tassle with a flat nightcap??? Kevin and I spent a portion of the movie bellyaching about how wrong Dumbledore's portrayal was. Another portion of the movie was spent watching the girls in the row next to us. They had not read the books and were gasping and shrieking at any appearance of Voldemort (who is just not very scary to me compared to my mental image when I read the book).

While writing this, it has occured to me that most of my HP thoughts are directly impacted by the first HP movie. I love the Dumbledore in that movie. The Voldemort that comes out of Quirrell's head is also how I picture Voldemort most of the time. Creepy. Flat-faced. Red-eyed. Somehow when an actual man is playing him all I can think is, "Wow. Being bald and pale really makes Ralph Fiennes' ears stick out. I can't believe this is the man who looks so good in The Avengers. Is it just me or does Harry look unbelievably short when next to Ron and Hermione?" See, these are not thoughts that occur to me when I read the book. Ah, but you don't want to read a post on how the movie never lives up to my mental image of the book, do you?

Long story short on the movie: cool fight scene at the end, Luna was fantastic!, Fred and George's moment could've been bigger, I miss Quiddich and Ron's big moment, Umbridge stole every scene she was in (some could've been shortened or eliminated to make room for some non-villainous character). All in all it was okay.

Oh, I just remembered something important to me about book 5. My favorite moment in the whole darn book (and it's a pretty long book) is when Dumbledore does his disappearing act from his office and Phineas Nigellus says something like, "Say what you will about Dumbledore, the man's got style" in his highly sarcastic Snapish voice (as I hear it anyway). This wonderful moment was ruined by having Kingsley Shacklebolt say it instead...a Kingsley who was horribly mis-cast. I've always pictured Kingsley to look like Samuel L. Jackson as Windoo from Star Wars. He's supposed to be cool, not remind me of my World Lit prof (Dr. Kashama).

Quote for the Day

2007-08-22T10:56:00.000-05:00

I added a new quote to my quote wall in my office and thought I should share it with everyone.

from the episode "Humbug" from the show The X-Files (which I was once addicted to):

Mulder has just asked the manager of his hotel (in a circus town) who happens to be, um, height challenged?, whether or not he has ever worked in a circus.

MULDER: I'm sorry, I meant no offense.

NUTT: Well, then why should I take offense? Just because it's human nature to make instantaneous judgements of others based solely upon their physical appearances? Why, I've done the same thing to you, for example. I've taken in your All-American features, your dour demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design and concluded that you work for the government. An F. B. I. agent. But do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly reduced you to a stereotype. A caricature. Instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual.

MULDER: But I am an F. B. I. agent.

First week of class

2007-08-22T09:48:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe it is only Wednesday. It is only Wednesday, right? It feels like it should be the second week of class already. I have been so busy that it really feels like more than just 2 1/2 days have gone by.

Learning community: The first two classes of the Learning Community course have gone well. It's exciting to see students getting to know each other already. The only problem is apparently one student didn't realize the courses were linked and she has not come to the first two 8 a.m. classes, but we hope to get that resolved today. It's invigorating to be able to feed off the literature course and have students use it to link their writing thoughts to, but it is also draining because everything takes more planning. Everything that I used to do on my own I now also discuss with Denise. This is good because this kind of partnership means we get double the great ideas and the students benefit from the connection of the courses, but it also means that I am doing more work or more communication than I did before and I'm also thinking about one more class (even though I'm not teaching it, it's in the back of my mind there someplace).

On-line 102 course: It's hard to tell how any on-line course is going just by looking at the first week. To be quite honest, I'm not even sure if everyone has gotten into the class yet. I don't think I'll be able to know that until I put a grade in the gradebook. I haven't gotten used to WebCT6 yet. At any rate, the students who have done the self-registration and gotten as far as the discussion board seem excited and they all seem well-disciplined for the most part. That seems to be the one quality that really separates on-line students from more traditional students: the on-line ones seem to be so adept at balancing multiple commitments. Many of them work and have families and take multiple classes, and what's more, they seem to be good at it. The other thing I've noticed is so far there are no guys in the class that I am aware of. There are a couple of male names on my roster for the course, but so far only females have posted to the discussion board. We'll see what it looks like by the end of the week.

Traditional 102 class: Wow, by the end of the day yesterday, I really felt like I had run a marathon. I kind of had (well, for me anyway). I dropped off the printing for this class at 1:00 at the printshop, which is in the basement. Then I went up to the second floor English area to eat lunch because the print shop said it would take a while and there are no tables on the first floor at this end of the building. I chatted with Denise and Tess while eating and then had an idea (long story, won't go over it here). I ended up chasing that idea a little bit and then remembered I had to finish my lunch and get my printing still. This was at 1:45. I then went down to the basement for the printing, remembered I didn't have my roster, went up to the second floor to tell a student I was here and would be back to the classroom by 2:00 and hauled my butt all the way down to the 2000 area to my office to get the roster and books and a bottle of water. I hit the restroom on the way and managed to get back to the classroom before the other teacher had left. My students were all hovering in the halls waiting for the other teacher to stop talking. It was 5 til 2:00, so I just said, "We can all go in." It was a good thing too, as Chad (the other teacher) had a class at 2:00 that he had to get to and my arrival made it easier for him to wrap up conversation and get out of there. This long story is all to say that I was tired. But oddly hyper. Somehow knowing it is the last class of a long day infuses me with energy I didn't think I had. Also, I figure everyone else is tired too so I make a greater effort to be energetic so they don't drift off. But I think they all ended up thinking I was strange...which is okay. Two of them have had me in class before and already know I can be strange sometimes. : )

The 005 classes: For the first time ever, I decided to have students set the policies for the class. I've been thinking about doing this ever since taking the class on Paulo Freire's Pedagogy of the Oppressed, which is all about how Freire used intrinsic motivation to teach illiterate adults in Brazil how to read so they could get the ability to vote and impact their futures more. All the research on learner-centered teaching says that students who are given choices are more invested in the class and learn more authentically than the traditional spoon-feeding kind of way of teaching. What I know from experience and what the research doesn't spell out as clearly is sometimes it goes smoothly and sometimes it does not. Even Freire says that sometimes students are resistant to this because they would rather stay with what is comfortable. Anyway, the 8 a.m. class was into it at first and really seemed to appreciate the fact that they were being included in the decision making process. Then I think it started to drag on a little because there was too much to decide. The 11:00 class had a couple of good participaters and then a whole bunch of quiet people. There was a good discussion about what constitutes success in a class (is is mere attendance or doing the work, can you succeed without attending, etc). I think we were all saying very similar things but in different enough ways that it looked like we were disagreeing with each other, when in fact, we were just sharing different perspectives of the same thing. The 8 a.m. class ended up with actual rules that need to be adhered to while the 11 a.m. class ended up with one rule that is meant to cover all behavioral aspects of the course.
8:00: 4 absences, 4 tardies allowed with penalties after the 4 tardies have been used. Late work policy of half credit on anything late.
11:00: must maintain a 75% in the class. If the student slips below, there's a probationary period before I have the ability to drop them at my discretion. Daily grades will be taken, so attendance isn't mandatory, but it will be hard to maintain a good grade without being in class regularly.

I just figured out why I'm so tired. I have been doing more work than usual this beginning of the semester. I usually just go to class, read through the syllabus and call it a day on the first days. This getting to know you and determining rules stuff takes so much more time and effort. We'll see how it goes as the semester goes on. But for now, I could really use a nap. Of course, I can't take one because I do have a bunch of work to get to still : (

Harry Potter Book 7 Post

2007-08-12T17:35:00.000-05:00

Kevin and I finally finished the Harry Potter series. I am going to post my thoughts on it below in a manner that will be hidden unless you highlight the text box. I want to allow anyone who has not read the books to be able to enjoy the books' unfoldings as much as I have.

To read what I have written, well, you could try flicking your wrist and saying, "Revelio," but as I have explained to my husband as he has tried "Scourgify" on our kitchen, you are probably not a witch or a wizard with a wand and, psst, Harry Potter isn't real...but anyhow, the text is just the same color as the background, so selecting it should be all you have to do to read it.

I was wrong about some things and absolutely right about the Lord of the Rings link. In fact, I didn't realize how right I would be. The whole horcrux against the skin making Ron, Hermione and Harry cranky was enough to have my husband and I saying, "my precious." It was also too ring-like when it seemed to possess Ron there for a moment.

Things that please me about the seventh book:
--the structure of it. It still maintains the time structure of the originals despite the fact that Harry is not at Hogwarts. Christmas break falls right in the middle of the book, and, as in the earlier books, something significant happens right in the middle and the end builds quickly with much happening all at once at the very end.
--Harry felt like an old friend. It was nice to see how much he had matured in this book, and yet because of the earlier books, this maturation was completely believable and even expected. He didn't have the wonder of earlier books nor the whininess of book 5 or the obstinance of book 6. He was "just plain Harry" again in mood, though definitely not just plain Harry in terms of readiness to complete his quest.
--I dig the whole Lord of the Rings vibe. The three of them were definitely on a quest pursued by vile things and unaware of what would pop up around any corner. They also knew they were heading to a necessary but evil showdown and were trying to remain under the radar as long as possible. Their loneliness and worry about friends and family members was very poignant too.
--I love the Gringotts part. It kept me guessing the whole time. I thought for sure that one of the Gryffindors would end up with the sword before leaving the vault though. The dragon was brilliant (or mad, as Kevin keeps reminding me)! I also thought the dragon would conveniently place them on the mountainside where they would meet up with Hagrid and Grawp.
-- I love that I could come up with all kinds of plausible possibilities for the plot and that some of them came true and others didn't. This is one of the signs of good writing to me: these characters are real enough to me that I can see what kinds of things they would do but also the plot workings are deep enough that they are not entirely predictable.
--the characters important to me all had their own parts to play in this book:
Neville- This is probably the most important. Neville, the boy who could have been The Boy Who Lived, had to have his own part in it. I love that he continued the DA and that it was he who slayed the snake with the sword. It was particularly touching to me that Gran was finally very proud of him with good reason. No bumbling crazylegs moments in this book for Neville. Just bravery and valiance.
Dobby and the house-elves- In order to do Hermione proud, the house-elves had to do their part. Kreacher certainly proved useful, though in keeping with character, he was doing it for Master Regulus. I thought the Death Eaters would get ahold of him and read the note in the locket, but it's good that that did not happen. Dobby, oh sweet Dobby. I have to admit that at first I was annoyed by Dobby in the way that Jar Jar Binks annoys. Perhaps it is meant to be this way as Harry himself is annoyed by him initially. After all, it is Dobby who gets Harry in a heap of trouble in book 2...but by the time Dobby is picking up hats left by Hermione, well, I guess he kind of grew on me. His death had me wishing someone would avenge him by finally getting rid of Bellatrix.
She who killed Bellatrix Lestrange- I had initially hoped that Neville would off Bellatrix in order to avenge his parents' torture by her, but Neville just would not have the wrath to do it properly. Then, Tonks seemed a likely choice to avenge Sirius' death and because Bellatrix had it in for her since Tonks' werewolf marriage. But, the best and most unexpected of all, Mrs. Weasley, had the pleasure. Nothing was more believable to me than Molly Weasely protecting her youngest and only daughter. The Weasleys had long known Molly's power and dangerous fury when provoked; it was great for the evil side to taste it too.
Hagrid- I had rather hoped that Hagrid would have had a larger role to play in this (no pun intended). I did, however, find it fitting that he carried Harry in the end. The protection of Aragog's progeny was rather unreal to me, but I see that it had the plot-point of getting Hagrid into the forest in order to watch Harry and Voldemort's showdown. I guess he was partially right about the spiders, though, considering they did not immediately kill and eat him, though they may have been arguing about who would get to do it...but I digress. Hagrid carrying Harry was perfect because it is reminiscent of other moments: Hagrid was the one to carry Harry from the wreckage of his house to safe delivery at his uncle's house and Hagrid also carried Dumbledore's dead body. He is and has always been the Hogwarts' caretaker and that was certainly embodied in one of his last acts in the series.
Dumbledore- Though he did not reappear in the manner I expected him to, in a way he did. The backlash against Dumbledore was completely believable as that happens so often with other powerful figures or celebrities after their deaths. The whole thing with Ariana, Aberforth and Grindelwald was interesting. I had thought that Ariana was a werewolf, but was of course incorrect. The mystery surrounding Ariana made it so I didn't give Aberforth a second thought, though I did suspect him of being the thief, which leads me to the next thing I love...
--Everything regarding the minor mysteries of the plot was incredibly well-connected. This last book really was a "tying together" of loose-ends while it also brought up interesting new subplots and realized the old ones in such believable and not completely predictable ways. As I read, I kept thinking, "I can't believe Rowling's pulling this off, and so well too!"

Things I was not so pleased with:
--The Ministry of Magic part: first of all, it makes Ron look like a real doof. Really, the whole part illuminates each character's shortcomings: Ron doesn't know as much or think quickly under pressure, Hermione (who does both of those things very well) is very nervous and must always have a plan and have things go according to plan, Harry is too hotheaded and impulsive for his own good sometimes. These qualities end up working out for each of them in the end of this section (Ron was transformed into someone who was a doof, so he was actually in character, Hermione's nervousness made it so she was swept away to be with Umbridge all day, and Harry's rash behavior spurred them into action and got them the locket in the end. I do admit that this part worked out in the end, but I just didn't like it very much...not that I have to like every moment of every book; some parts are not supposed to be enjoyed in the lah-di-dah life-is-good kind of way.
--Fred and George: I realized long ago that these somewhat favorite characters of mine were unfortunately expendable. That George got his ear blasted off early in should have been an indication to me that they would not both survive. This may sound really strange, but I can't help but think if Rowling killed off one, then she should have killed off both. The worst part of it all to me is not that Fred is dead but that George has to go on living without him. That, and he's stuck with Percy as poor consolation. In the words of Fred, or was it George?, "Stupid prat."
--Bathilda Bagshot: A snake (a snake possessed by Voldemort no less) is inhabiting Bagshot's dead body that is, by the way, decaying and has been for some time and Harry doesn't suspect anything???? I mean, I know she was called "batty" by people, but come on! there's a difference between just plain ole batty and then cold and non-responsive albeit oddly still walking and also stinking to high heavens! And Hermione lets him go upstairs with him alone!?!
--The epilogue: I understand the book needs to be wrapped up with some indication of what happens to Harry in the future, but it was all just a little too hokey for me. Okay, I could see Harry and Ginny ending up together and Ron and Hermione too, and yes, Harry and Ginny would probably name their kids after people who were significant in their lives, but...it was just too 1950's to me. Too ideal. Too picture perfect. As I said in my earlier post about the seventh book, I expected some kind of strife at the end. Harry is a good guy and loved and all that, but he is now not just The Boy Who Lived but now The Guy Who Saved the World from the Worst Evil in the World (somehow not as catchy). Surely, life is not easy and peachy keen for this new Harry. Surely people stare more than ever and ask for his autograph. Surely he would at least live amongst Muggles where he could possibly live a somewhat normal life.

Okay, this could not possibly sum up everything I feel about the whole darn book and all seven books for that matter, but it is a start.

countdown to the Fall semester

2007-07-28T16:19:00.000-05:00

Well, grades are due on Monday by noon. I have one remaining paper to grade and then two remaining finals to grade. And I am calling it quits for today. I have already graded several from each category and do not want the last student to have a grade affected by my blah mood. On the upside, I figure I will be finished well before the deadline.

I looked at the registration numbers last week. The Learning Community class has 11 students signed up, so it will definitely make. All of the other morning 101 classes are closed, so there's still the chance that more students will enroll because of limited options. My internet 102 class has been closed for some time, and now students are calling me for closed class cards. I gave two; that's my limit. I even have one closed 005 class. The other two classes of mine have a couple of students in them. Everything's looking pretty good for Fall.

Pretty soon, I'll have to dig into preparing my WebCT course, something I generally avoid until the last moment.

This is a thoroughly boring blog entry. I find myself obsessed with counting things down when I get to the end of a semester. I once calculated approximately how many pages I would have to read in order to grade all of my ENGl 101 portfolios. I will never make that mistake again. Too depressing!

I guess the moral of this blog entry is I have finally learned enough from past mistakes to portion my time out okay enough to be finished grading at least a day or two before the deadline. I will not be staying up until 2 a.m. and then dragging my tired butt up to campus Monday morning....well, I will be dragging myself up to campus on Monday morning to turn them in still, but if I'm dead tired it's because of reading Harry Potter.

This entry really should be the countdown to getting to read book 7!

Harry Potter post-- do not read unless you have read all 6 books

2007-07-19T12:56:00.000-05:00

Ok. Be forewarned: these are my thoughts (not all of them) about Harry Potter and what may happen in the seventh book. Do not read any further unless you have read all 6 books. Oh, and there will be Lord of the Rings spoilers too, so if you intend to read or watch that series and heven't yet, you should stop reading too.

I've heard all kinds of decent theories about book seven. The most curious one I've heard about the ending of book 6 is that Dumbledore wasn't really Dumbledore through the whole book. He may have been Peter Pettigrew or Moody. The theory behind this (and this theory came from my friend Kamra; I cannot take responsibility for it) is that Dumbledore hand was damaged in so weird of a way that he may have been someone else who had no hand trying to be him and the potion didn't allow him to be a full Dumbledore because of the hand. I don't know about this. I don't think either person would have behaved to Harry in the way that Dumbledore did all through book 6, but I do agree that something was up with Dumbledore. Something that bugs me is that in book 5, everytime Harry sees Dumbledore, he has this Voldemort-like hate rise up in him. This just spontaneously goes away in book 6 despite the fact that Harry appears to be no better at occlumency....though I did notice this also appears to go away in the end of book 5 too...I'm not to the end of my book 5 re-read, so I don't have any clever theories about this. It just strikes me as either sloppy writing or important fact.

Returning to the Peter Pettigrew theory, I do think he's going to be important to book 7. There seemed to be a "you'll be happy he didn't die" vibe in book 3 and hints that Pettigrew will do Harry a favor. I don't think merely suggesting there's no reason to kill Harry (as done in book 4) is enough of a favor to fulfill this vibe.

Here's my one big contribution to the whole Harry Potter theory building: Rowling seems to be a huge Tolkien fan, probably a big English mythology fan in general, but definitely a Tolkien follower. It just so happens that I see very few movies each year and for a while there, the only movies I was seeing were Lord of the Rings movies and Harry Potter movies, and I noticed too many similarities. It started out small, like cave trolls appearing in both of the movies and then there was Aragog and (oh crud I forgot the name of the big spider outside Mordor that Gollom tries to have kill Frodo). Anyway, two huge cave trolls and two huge spiders and then there came the dementors, which, let's face it, are just ringwraiths after happiness instead of the ring.

So this is why I think Pettigrew will be of greater importance. Pettigrew is Gollum. For that matter, Ron is Sam...which would make him the hero if we follow this any further...but anyhow, that distracted me from my main idea...which is that Dumbledore is clearly Gandalf. Gandalf experienced that moment where he appeared to have sacrificed himself for the hobbits et al on their quest, and of course, it appears more than once that Dumbledore seems to be sacrificing himself for Harry's benefit. He's returned once already (he wasn't dead in book 5, so no big deal there), but I firmly believe he will return in book 7. Once quote that has always stood out to be as significant (but I didn;t realize how significant) is in book 1 when Dumbledore says, "I would trust Hagrid with my life." Come to think of it, Hagrid may end up being Sam here. ANyway, it is just too much of a coincidence to me that Dumbledore says that very pointedly and it is Hagrid who retrives his body from the base of the castle. Now Gandalf came back from the apparent dead having been to the end of the world and back and was then Gandalf the White. He was beyond time and seemed to be so much wiser that he had forgotten himself. I don't doubt that when Dumbledore returns he will be more than himself somehow. Because the other important thing is that Harry confront Voldemort ON HIS OWN. And that is why a small part of me would also be okay with Dumbledore being dead, because how else would Harry do things on his own if Dumbledore is not there? He needs that catalyst to make him into a fully fledged hero of his own, as he has been growing into that through all 6 books.

We all know that love will be part of the answer. That's apparent from the end of every single book. The thing that gets me about the Lord of the Rings ending (the real book ending, not the movie one) is that Frodo was irreparably damaged by his time with the ring. He would never be able to be fully hobbit-like for the rest of his life and did not feel like he belonged there. There cannot be a fully happy ending for Harry because he'll either have to have done the Voldemort killing or he'll not survive. Some people have theorized that Harry is a horcrux himself, but I think that is absolute balogney. Horcruxes have to be created intentionally (otherwise many horcruxes would have been made when Voldemort's death-eaters were killing people) and Voldemort did not know that Harry would survive.

Snape is the character I cannot figure out. He's the big mystery to me. I think he's actually a mystery to himself too and that's why he's so grumpy. I think he's continually torn. For Dumbledore to trust him, there must be some "love thing" involved somehow. The easiest guess is that Snape loved Lily and that is why he protects Harry and dislikes Harry at the same time, because Harry reminds him of the two people he loves and hates most. Snape is smart or he couldn't be misunderstood as much as he is. Which makes me think that he must trust Dumbledore over Voldemort...because that's the smart thing to do. Which implies that the two of them devised a way to kill Dumbledore without killing Dumbledore and Snape is playing a very dangerous game. He's also very self-serving and not un-prone to childish tantrums (as in book 5)...so anyway, that is why I struggle the most when coming up with theories about Snape.

People keep wondering about whether Harry will live or die. To me, a bigger question is will Snape end up good or bad and what has he been playing at this whole time? He could be just egotistical enough that he could be doing what the Lord of the Rings book had Sarumon doing. In the books, Sauron was the big evil one and Sarumon was a good guy who went bad when he thought he too could have the most power. In the end he went down when the ancient tree-herders ruined his world. I don't know how that applies.

I also really hope (but doubt) that Fred and George have a cool role to play in the seventh book. I suspect they'll be like Merry and Pippen and just be used for comic relief again when the bad stuff is all over.

Anyway...I gotta wrap this up. But I wanted to get some of my thoughts out there before book 7 comes out and people read it. This way, on the off chance any of my theorizing relates, I can say "I told you!" and people will believe I had the thought before reading book 7 instead of having them respond "yeah, right."

Oh....and I just have to say this right here. If any student reveals any details of book 7 to me before I have a chance to read it, I will seriously throw a conniption fit and hope they drop my class. Someone revealed the ending of book 5 to me before I read it and it messed up my reading experience.

She's Not There

2007-07-12T12:11:00.000-05:00

When suffering from a horrible flu bug, I had the house to myself and didn't feel up to doing anything besides reading for enjoyment. I picked up She's Not There, one of the option for the Book Club reading. It's about a transgendered person who was a man who became a woman. I really didn't expect to like this book, but I actually enjoyed it. I don't read much in the way of non-fiction, so I'm always happily surprised when I end up enjoying it. I was able to read through it, start to finish, in probably 4 hours.

(Confession here. My original plan was to take the portable DVD player up to bed and watch X-Files on DVD, but I couldn't get it to play anything other than the first episode without the remote control, which my son had misplaced when he was pretending it was a spaceship or some Power Rangers thing, so I decided if I couldn't have X-Files, I would not settle for lesser entertainment, but would instead be productive and read something from the Learning Community class. Oh, and I should note that because I agreed I would not read ahead, I did not finish re-reading the fifth Harry Potter book without my husband. This took considerable moral fortitude here)

Back to She's Not There. The author is also a fiction writer, so he/she (? I thought of him as him for the first half to 2/3rds of the book and then as she for the later portion, what to call him or her now???) uses literary techniques in the writing. I guess since she was a she when she wrote the book, I'll refer to the author as "she" from here on out.

Parts of the book were funny and others heart-breaking.

One thing that I really found interesting about it is when she's in transition and taking hormones to become more female, she noticies herself doing all kinds of things she never thought she would, including qualities she has never liked in women she's known. The part that stands out the most to me is when she goes to The Gap to try on jeans as a woman. She says that for a man, shopping for jeans is no big deal. You go in the store, the measurements are what they are and there are maybe two choices of what kind of jeans to try on (relaxed or whatever). For women, the sizes do not match up to any known measurement in the universe and there are at least 6 different cuts of jeans to try on, each emphasizing certain areas of the body more or less. She found herself obsessing about which size she wanted to be. And she later did things like order the salad even though it wasn't really a salad she wanted to eat.

It made me feel better to know that some parts of being female can perhaps be blamed on the hormones or society's impact and not on my lack of common sense. Because I know the number that represents the size on my clothing does not represent me, and yet I find myself thinking I'll wait to go shopping for clothes until I can fit in a more desirable size. I have found myself purchasing a pair of pants in part because they fit and the tag still said the size I wanted it to say. I have passed up perfectly fine pairs of pants simply because the tag said something I didn't want it to say. This is particularly true of immediately post-pregnancy shopping.

This reminds me: I hate David's Bridal. A friend of mine asked me to be in her wedding (btw, this does have something to do with the previous chain of thought) and the bridesmaid dresses she chose were at David's. My son was around 7 months old at the time. This means that the immediate post-pregnancy weight was gone enough that I was proud of that and yet not so much that I was entirely happy with my whole body. My chest was also still huge. The lady helping me measured me and then brought me a 16 and an 18. I was wearing a size 12 at the time. Not good for the self-confidence. Then....then!...when I said something about it, she made a remark about how I should feel proud about the child I brought into the world. Let me tell you, when someone is making you spend over $150 on a dress you don't like in a size you definitely don't like in a color that makes you look abyssmal, do not insult them by implying pride in her child and body perception have anything to do with one another. A woman can be perfectly proud of her kids and still regret having stretchmarks.

On to another point of the author's. She talks about how (heterosexual) men are infatuated with breasts, enamoured of them, wouldn't-get-anything-accomplished-if-they-had-them kind of thing. (And I agree with this part of her point, as I have had similar talks with my male friends in college) Then she said when her male friends asked her about them once she had them, she said they were no big deal-- that they were just there-- and women do not give them any thought. I think this is not entirely true. We do not think of them in the way that men do and do not care about them in the way that men do, but I think women do think about them. I had a small 101 class last semester that was breast-obsessed, and it was an overwhelmingly female class. The girls kept bringing the topic up (btw, the guys thought it was funny and didn't mind one bit-- that was a very open class). I think women feel they get stereotyped based on breast-size and therefore think about them more than they need to. In fact, the females talking about breasts and breast-size in that class were either rather small or really large chested. I think when on either end of the spectrum, women think about it even more.

Since I don't want to end this post while still writing about breasts, I will say that I think this book would be an excellent choice for any group for Book Club. It will be interesting to both genders, it's informative without being overly so (had to say I was a little worried about possibly getting too much information about the sex change, but needlessly so. When she's still a he, he talks about the night he lost his virginity, but not in a gross way. Luckily, she writes more about when the sex occured than the details of the sex acts themselves). What's truly fascinating is it gets you thinking about your identity and what part gender has to play in that. I think by the end, I was just really grateful that I feel content with my identity.

At one point, Boylan has a talk with one of her sons about how how she felt on the inside and how she looked on the outside didn't match up. I think that can be true of anyone at any time, but non-transgendered people just have more choice in the matter of how they will try to change their looks because it is just a matter of looks for them, a surface appearance kind of thing (the non-transgendered people, that is) and for transgendered people, it is an issue of the whole body itself.

Erasure

2007-06-30T15:44:00.000-05:00

I'm in the middle of reading Erasure, a required book for the Lit class in the LC.

Wow! It's kind of hard to explain this, but I am really enjoying this book. I don't think the book is meant to be enjoyed in the regular sense of the word. It's not fun. It's not entertaining. It's not "laugh out loud" funny. But for me it is enjoyable because it is getting me to think about the issues it raises and to stretch my brain for the links to the other literature it refers to.

In some ways it has already reminded me of The Invisible Man, Native Son, Their Eyes Were Watching God, and Pale Fire. I don't want to talk about Erasure too much because I'd hate to spoil anything for the people who will read it, but that doesn't mean I can't talk about the other books!

I'm going to start with Pale Fire by Nabokov. Most people know Nabokov because he wrote Lolita. I have to admit: I have tried several times to read Lolita but have never gotten through it. The protagonist was way too twisted and unlikeable for me to get into it. Which leads to to Pale Fire. This is perhaps the strangest book I have ever read. It starts with an Introduction of sorts and then there is a long poem. After that is the notes section of the book. At first glance, it looks like this book will be about the poem. In reality, the book is the intro and the notes, which are not what you would expect at all. Nabokov creates a poet who writes the poem. Then he creates another character who writes the intro and the notes. If memory serves, his name was Kinbote, and he is an oddball. He worships the poet. He also believes in the existence of this other world that doesn't really exist (or does it?) and he makes the poem notes refer to this other world in their entirety. So there will be a line of the poem, something like "gray shoots through the fog of the car" (completely made up for example purpose here) and the number that indicates the note will direct you to a page about a hundred pages back, where you'll find pages upon pages of a note that have to do with this other place and only begin with some reference to the fog or the car.

Anyway, what does this have to do with Erasure? I'm not entirely sure myself. I'm just reminded of Pale Fire because of the book within the book and the idea of making characters who have their own little worlds out there in order for them to be fully realized characters. For someone to seem real, there has to be an immense backstory or the possibility of a backstory. Then it gets you thinking about what is real and how much of it is our perception of what's real compared to what is actually real.

Their Eyes Were Watching God is one of my favorite books. This is a slight digression here, but it's also one of Oprah's favorite books. Her reason is it's the "best love story ever" or something to that effect. I feel like that's really reducing the book to something frivolous, like a fluffy romance novel. The book is wonderful for its language. The beginnings and endings of the chapters are beautiful for their wording, images and meaning. Yet, they are also simple enough that the reader can almost miss the depth that is there. The parts in Erasure that are about fishing and woodworking are lesser versions of what I experience as a reader of Zora Neale Hurston's work.

Native Son and Invisible Man are clearly referenced in Erasure. At some point, I started writing, "Reminds me of Native Son" in the margins of my book. A little later, I wrote, "It is Native Son!" It's been years since I've read the book, but I think the structure of My Pafothology follows NS in a fairly straightforward way, diverting in order just on the point of the girlfriend (or baby momma in this case). At some point after My Pafology, Monk actually starts saying of himself, "I am invisible." As a lit scholar with the last name of Ellison, I would expect him to be very familiar with this book, so that one is a no-brainer. One big difference: I associate both books with winter and darkness, so it's kind of weird for me to have E set in California's sunshine.

This brings me to what is making the book fun for me and also making my head hurt and making me want to reread The Signifying Monkey by Henry Louis Gates, Jr. Erasure is obviously referring to venerable works of literature that also happen to be written by African-Americans. (Like the narrator, I hate that all books written by African-Americans get placed into a category of their own, and that's probably a discussion for another blog) Anyhow... This referencing of another work is generally labeled allusion when encountered in most canonical literature. Signifying is something similar but different...which is pretty near the best definition I can come up with of it in a short amount of space. Signifying involves alluding to or using the original but expanding on it and/or commenting on it by reusing it in a different or more involved way. It's like jazz that improvises from an already established piece of music. Yes, it is similar, yes it borrows from, but is it the same? no, not really. Do you have some of the same feelings and reflections you had with the other work? Yes, but more because you have those and the new.

I am not doing Gates' work justice at all here, but these are some of the things I'm thinking about while reading this book.

More thoughts about LC books

2007-06-20T10:22:00.000-05:00

I got a late start on reading for the LC Book Club. I meant to start this a while ago so I wouldn't have quite so much reading to do over the summer. I did start Kate Chopin's The Awakening at some point in the spring, but then I got distracted from finishing it. I had had a spare weekend where I wasn't feeling well and I stayed in bed and read close to half of it that weekend. Then, as life often has a habit of doing, things kind of snow-piled and I didn't get back to it. In the meantime, I have reflected about the book on multiple occasions without actually going back to finish it. I have read it a couple of times before, though, so I know where it is heading.

Anyway, part of the reflections have to do with how society has certain expectations for gender roles. I think this has improved significantly, but is nowhere near perfect. I still bristle at assumptions that my role in the home is to cook, clean and also care for the children while the husband's role is that of the breadwinner and the outside caretaker. For what it's worth, these assumptions do not come from my husband, who also does not refer to watching his own children as "babysitting." If the child is your own, it should be called "parenting"!!!!, but I digress...

I do plan to get back to Chopin, but it probably won't happen until after I have read some of the other books. I ordered a bunch from half.com recently. I bought Catch Me if You Can; Black, White and Jewish; No Telephone to Heaven; She's Not There; Erasure and something else that escapes me for the moment all for around $30, shipping included. Three of the books arrived earlier than they had to. I love half.com. In my many purchases from that site, I have only had one bad experience, and even that would not have been a bad experience had I not needed the book by a certain time. The seller couldn't find the book after I'd put in the purchase bid. The purchase did not go through, but I was left with little time to buy the book from someone else to get it in time. This was back when I was tracking down copies of "Death of a Salesman" for my McKendree students. I will never be the book purchaser for students ever again. Anyway, the whole point was that I have both purchased and sold books via half.com pretty much without issue.

I started and finished Catch Me in just two or three days. The others will proceed more slowly, I'm afraid. Kevin and I are also in the midst of rereading the Harry Potter books. We read Book 3 earlier this summer and then skipped 4 because we're really familiar with that one. Now, we're on Book 5, which is huge! I know there's no reason to share my Harry Potter theories, but I may do so in a post later this summer. I'll put a spoiler alert for anyone who may want to skip over it.

Catch Me If You Can

2007-06-20T10:06:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading Catch Me If You Can, one of the Book Club options for the Fall Learning Community. Our themes are identity, gender and race. I really didn't know anything about it other than what I had heard about the movie long, long ago...which was basically that it starred Leonardo Dicaprio and Tom Hanks and was about a guy who had pretended to be, among other things, a commercial air pilot. Denise had chosen this one, saying it would be good for the identity category.

And she was right. This is a really good fit for the identity category as he frequently changes his identity to make a quick buck. It has much that could be said about gender too, since his pursuit of money is really motivated by his pursuit of women.

I couldn't believe some of the things he did! I won't give anything away (because I hate it when people do that!), but as I was reading, I guess I kept saying things out loud because my husband kept looking at me funny. He wasn't the only one. At one point, my son said, "Mommy, why'd you say 'wow'?"

The book raises questions about why he did what he did...and also can I trust the writing of a man who used to do all of these things? The particular book that I purchased had a Q and A with the author at the end. I was glad it did. It has his older self answering questions about his younger actions. It helped me the with the constant justification and rationalization I had seen in the book.

Anyway...an enjoyable summer read. I'm glad Denise suggested it! And now that I've read it, I'm tempted to rent the movie despite my slight dislike of Leonardo Dicaprio.

Pictures of my family

2007-06-14T12:41:00.000-05:00

Retention

2007-06-13T11:12:00.000-05:00

As I was walking to the library today, it occurred to me that the same things I'm hoping to do in the Learning Community class in the Fall are also happening in this summer 102 class.

The Learning Community is designed to foster better retention by encouraging students to work with one another and to carry their thinking from one class over to another class, so coursework doesn't seem so isolated. Students in the 102 class are working well with one another which I think keeps them from feeling like they are alone in their confusion when confusion strikes. I think a goal of both classes is to show students that confusion is not necessarily a bad thing. Our best thinking happens when we are searching for a solution to a problem. Confusion means there is a problem to solve. If we're wandering along, quite complacent with everything, our brains are not doing anything; they are not actively learning. I think that "brain hurt" that happens when we are doing our best thinking sometimes discourages students.

Question asking and answering
Students tend to think, "Oh, I've got all of these questions. I must be doing something wrong." To me, all of those questions means you're probably doing everything just right. I think working in a group confirms this. It shows students they are not the only ones with questions and they get the opportunity to be both question-asker and question answerer. When questions are asked by the student of the instructor, students are only the question-asker and never the question-answerer. This may make them feel inadequate and like they only have questions and never have the answers. It also discourages seeking answers. I think when they're able to ask other students, it shows them they too have the power to have the answers. AND they have more answers already than they previously thought they had.

The Curious Researcher
The same things that will be emphasized in the Learning Community are emphasized in Bruce Ballenger's text, The Curious Researcher. First of all, let me just tell you, I love this book. I've been using Fieldworking for 102 which is about writing ethnographies, and I enjoyed that for a while, but with the Ballenger book I feel like it says everything I've always wanted to say to students about research.

It also emphasizes "real world research," where you turn to research and investigation out of interest in something rather than because of an artificial assignment that was forced on you. I think students are able to see the use in this for their school careers and beyond. That sense of purpose is vital to retention too. If they see classroom activities as pointless, they're more apt to think, "I can take this class later."

Thoughts on Retention
I'm not really sure what goes through a student's mind when considering whether or not to drop a class, as the thought never occurred to me while I was in school. I do know that many students of mine have had life just get in the way of concentration on school. I've had students who have been seriously ill and even one whose husband died. Many other students just have way too much going on and something has to give. In the decision of work vs. family vs. school, I can understand why school so often loses. What I want to know is why is it that in the decision of English vs. math vs. history vs. speech vs. whatever else, English loses? Writing is a prerequisite course!!! I could understand if the student was taking a class in his or her major area of concentration because that would be more interesting. Do the writing classes require more homework than other classes? Or a different, more foreign mode of thinking? Or are most students who drop dropping all of their classes at once and it isn't just a writing thing?

I just know that the best class I ever had for retention was not a writing course and the writing classes frequently have very high drop rates. And I've met many a student taking ENGL 102 in one of their last semesters of college because they had signed up for and dropped many of their earlier English classes, whether multiple sections of 101 or 102 or a combination.

So Far, So Good

2007-06-08T09:24:00.000-05:00

The Google project #1 is going fairly well so far. The big problem is we do not have the ability to download some of the programs that are being written about. I believe that problem will be addressed early next week. Winnie has the ability to at least give us access to those on the teacher station. I do not think we can get them on the student computers without a huge hassle, unfortunately.

The other problem is communicating what I think the assignment should be while remaining open enough that students can determine how to do it on their own. This is an ongoing struggle of mine. I don't want to prescribe just one way of doing the assignment, but if I do not give parameters, students often underachieve because they don't have a clear understanding of my expectations. I may write an additional assignment sheet or update the one I already have on Google Documents.

One thing that really disappointed me was the number of students who did not appear to have their homework done before coming to class on Wednesday and Thursday. That was the lightest homework assignment they'll have all semester and they didn't have it complete?!? Not good. The future assignments will make it pretty clear who is doing what because they have to be posted for everyone to see and will have a date-stamp on them, so hopefully the students who did not do all of the assignment before coming to class will have learned from that mistake and won't slack on the work in the future.

Step 1 from Ballenger book

2007-06-04T12:08:00.000-05:00

I have assigned Step 1 from the Ballenger text. I thought in all fairness I would do a little "fast-writing" of my own in response to the prompt. I think it's kind of difficult though to write about what most students think about research papers though now that I'm approaching research papers from the teaching perspective.

Anyway, here goes. I do think that most students still think of research papers in a traditional kind of way. Most of the thinking is probably filled with "supposed to"s. They're supposed to use so many book sources. They're supposed to quote so many times. They're supposed to have a wonderfully formulated thesis statement at the end of their introductions and they're supposed to avoid using "I."

I remember being told that to say "I think that" or "I believe" made it painfully obvious that that was just our opinion and the reader cared little for our opinion. Readers wanted facts. I agree with this to an extent. If you ask readers, they will say they trust facts, but I also know that as a reader, I also like it when I trust the writer. If the writer is incredibly boring, I have no desire to trust him or her. Now, using I doesn't mean the writer will be more personal and less boring, so I don't think students should just use I for the sake of using I. Like everything else, I think there ought to be a balance and students should determine why they are making the choices they are making instead of just doing them haphazardly.

When I was a student I didn't worry too much about whether or not the instructor would agree with me, but I have heard horror stories from many people who have felt they were graded poorly just because of disagreements between them and the instructor regarding the topic. Sidebar here: I'm thinking about creating a list of topics that I've heard too many times before or find tedious. The problem is I don't want to stifle anyone or make them think I think most topics are bad because I really do think that certain people can make them work with enough initiative. It's just the "I'll do this just because" people who have ruined those topics for me and I think it would be nice if everyone had fair warning. We'll see...

Looking at the list of things on page 2, I would say that most students unfortunately practice the last two: the paper won't be revised substantially and form matters more than content. I think half my semester is spent trying to convince people otherwise, but that's probably a story for another blog on another day.

I'm not sure how long I spent typing this as I was interrupted by a phone call.

Getting ready for the summer semester

2007-05-30T14:27:00.000-05:00

I can't believe school starts on Monday already. I have come into the office today to drop papers off at the print shop. Please note, this is occuring several days earlier than I usually get the print-shop work in. I am attempting to practice what I preach...That and I have a babysitter today and no babysitter on Friday. :)

Speaking of the kidlits, I'd better hurry up so I can pick them up. My leisurely summer break is not turning out to be leisurely at all. I'm in the midst of organizing a big dinner and awards ceremony tonight for the kids at church and then I have to plan Ellie's birthday party for Saturday. This doesn't sound like it would keep me busy, but factor in a rambunctious 3 1/2 year old boy and a one year old who crawls very quickly and A) likes to explore everything and B) likes to try to eat any small item found on the floor including what I think was a dead bug yesterday and, well, it's hard to get anything accomplished at home.

Come to think of it, I think I'm relieved that school is starting on Monday.

I found out yesterday that the Mon/Wed class has 8 students and the Tues/Thurs one has 15 at the moment. It'll be interesting to see if those numbers change at all by Monday. 15 sounds like a good number. 8 a little small.

The plan for Monday and Tuesday is to try a get-to-know-you activity that the Learning Community will use in the Fall. The Summer students will also use it to get into groups rather quickly. We'll see how it goes...

Calm before the storm...Google crazy

2007-05-08T14:32:00.000-05:00

For the past few days, I've been aware of a pending deadline: 101 portfolios will start coming in tomorrow. That means I'll be busy grading 101 papers until the end of the semester. You would think that in the meantime, this lovely calm non-grading time would be spent doing countless pointless things in anticipation of the stressful time to come. Instead, I'm reading books for future semesters (hardly pointless).

I'm in the middle of The Awakening by Kate Chopin for the LC in the Fall. I've read this one a couple of times before, so this is just a much needed refresher. The big difference is I was never really able to relate to Edna before. I kind of kept thinking, "Sheesh. What's her problem?" I still don't entirely relate, but now that I'm married with children I can see how life creates these cookie cutter kinds of roles for us that we're supposed to fit and when we don't fit into them it creates (for lack of a better word) ennui. I know that's a strange word, but it's the one I mean and if you don't know it, you can look it up on www.dictionary.com.

I'm also reading The Google Story. This is in preparation for my summer 102 class. I never thought reading about Google could be enjoyable. From what I've read so far, I really like the creators of Google and the things they do. Also in preparation for this course, I checked out a photoessay about Google in Time magazine. I can't believe the amenities Google offers its employees. No wonder it's the top ranked employer in the U.S.! I wonder what it would take to get SWIC to install a one person swimming pool so employees could swim laps while at work? Seems really far-fetched to me, but I can see how this kind of thing would keep pasty computer people happy. (Ever notice how many computer geeks are super pale? It's because they work so many hours they never get to go outside while it's still light outside. This is changing somewhat now that some of the work may be done on laptops, but still...)

I can't tell if people are getting sick of me advocating Google or if they still find it helpful. I can't help it. I love things that are immensely practical and also free. Seriously, how many things fit into both categories??? There are probably people out there who think Google is out to rule the whole world (I know there are. I checked out one of their blogs yesterday and read The Onion's article about Google yesterday too)...well, even if they are (which I don't think they are), at least they're not making us pay for the service or inconveniencing us on their bid for world domination.

Too many students have been having problems with Microsoft Word 2007 and with the Comment program we use that comes packaged with the St. Martin's Handbook (for a handsome fee no less). And why oh why is it that just when I get used to one form of Blackboard or WebCT, they have to change or merge or whatever? (merged successfully to create a better product this time, but still!) Google seems to get things right the first time. And it just seems to make sense to novices and experts alike.

So perhaps I have gone a little Google crazy. I should probably stop googling Google to find new articles and the like. I'll definitely stop by the time papers roll in to be graded tomorrow.

I'm also going Harry Potter crazy, though to a lesser extent. It has suddenly dawned on me that I'd really like to reread some of the books before the seventh one comes out, which means I've got to get cracking if I want to do that before July and I'm going to have to track down library copies soon before everyone else gets the same idea. Or borrow them from friends. I already have one friend who has said she'll lend me the seventh book when she's finished reading it. I think this is incredibly kind and sacrificial and also a little bit self-serving. I think she'll really want to talk about the book with someone as soon as she's finished reading it, so while I don't have a HP deadline, I kind of do. That's a much better deadline than the one I'm facing tomorrow.

Planning ENGL 102

2007-05-01T14:00:00.000-05:00

I had some extra time in my day yesterday, so I put energy into planning my 102 class for this summer. I'm using The Curious Researcher as my text for the first time, so I have to completely rethink the way I do 102. I plan to have students do a collaborative research project about Google before doing their own research projects.

It's amazing how much stuff there is out there about Google. "Google" is an apt name for the company. It seems like they're neverending. There's no end to what they are offering. The more I look into Google, the more I find. The more I find, the more I look. The more I look, the more I find. It's hopelessly distracting.

It's kind of strange to be blogging about Google on the Google Blogger too.

I've ordered some books about Google. I already read one on-line that is called 55 Fun Things to do with Google or something to that extent. It's great that it is entirely available on-line. Of course, it was not so great that I ended up trying out some of the 55 fun things. (net disaster was by far my favorite! wanna know what it is? perhaps you should google it. Then you can use it to destroy Google...which I found to be a disturbing idea in the book, but hey! I did it nonetheless) I think the hard copies will be less distracting and more informative.

*Reminder to self: have students check out the quiz that was in 55 Fun Things.

Initial Blog Entry

2007-04-04T11:19:00.000-05:00

This is my first blog entry for this blog that will be intended for the Learning Community. Denise and I are sitting here experimenting with the medium and we find it to be pretty cool! We're excited about the learning community and all of the possibilities.